


these winding roads (led me straight to you)

by khrysallis



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Geisha, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 08:29:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3844114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khrysallis/pseuds/khrysallis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(memoirs of a geisha!au) junmyeon is a dream within a dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	these winding roads (led me straight to you)

**Author's Note:**

> junmyeon/girl!kyungsoo, youngwoon/girl!kyungsoo, kyuhyun/victoria, yesung/girl!ryeowook, one-sided girl!baekhyun/jongin

Poise. Elegance. Unattainability.

 

These were words Kyungsoo had never expected to be associated with her; not in this lifetime of hers, at least. Who would, when Kyungsoo had been born into a poor fishing family who lived on scraps of food that left them hungry still, and threadbare clothes on their backs, leaving her shivering, almost freezing to death on the coldest of winter days?

 

But when she took in the way men gawked at her as she walked right next to her mentor Song Qian down the streets of Gion, Kyungsoo wondered if she could finally bring herself to believe in them.

 

She could see herself reflected in their hungry eyes – her hair carefully styled and waxed into place to resemble that of a peach, as was customary for an apprentice geisha, with a tiny peek of red where it parted down the middle; her face expertly painted in white, hiding what little flaws she had left, plump lips sinfully red to tickle one's imagination; her silk kimono, patterned like the conflagration of ashes during a volcano eruption, silver against a background of deep red at its hem to signify the raging fire before it turned scarlet towards her shoulders. It pulled even more attention towards Kyungsoo, especially with the eye-catching golden obi tied around her tiny waist. Her kimono was meant to be a statement of her fiery desire to succeed.

 

She knew an apprentice geisha was supposed to be dressed in the most elaborate of kimonos her okiya could provide – or, in her case, Song Qian had made it a point to loan Kyungsoo one of her kimonos – but Kyungsoo still could not help but feel that she was not worthy of such an expensive piece.

 

You could probably repay three-quarters of your debts with this kimono, Song Qian's dresser, Zhou Mi had told her when she'd asked. Kyungsoo hoped fervently that she would not ruin it, for she did not think she could cope with more debts getting piled onto her back.

 

"You are thinking too loudly, Kyungsoo." Song Qian's voice cut into her insecurities then, startling a gasp out of Kyungsoo's painted lips. She chanced a look at her older sister – her mentor – and realised Song Qian was walking with a slight lean in Kyungsoo's direction, her mesmerising eyes cutting up to look at her through long lashes. There was a slight smile on Song Qian’s face, dazzling even though she was actually reprimanding Kyungsoo in private, and Kyungsoo returned it with a shaky one of her own. Around them, Kyungsoo caught sight of more eyes turning upon them. She raised a sleeved arm and hid a smile behind it when a delivery boy crashed his bicycle into the sidewalk, a result of being too preoccupied with watching Kyungsoo and Song Qian to pay attention to his surroundings.

 

Of course, Kyungsoo could not blame him for getting distracted – very rarely could a man resist Song Qian’s killer smile. Together with her impeccable skills in dance, it made Song Qian one of, if not the most, sought-after geishas in Gion.

 

(Kyungsoo had heard of praises that compared Song Qian to a goddess; even as a woman, Kyungsoo was inclined to agree.)

 

“I’m sorry, nee-san.” Kyungsoo said in a voice low enough for only the both of them to hear. “I still am quite nervous about this.”

 

Song Qian straightened herself again as they continued to make their way through the streets of Gion towards the Ichiriki Teahouse, where they were supposed to have the ceremony to bind them as sisters. Even though Kyungsoo had seen the way Song Qian carried herself for what possibly was the thousandth time by now, she still envied her effortless elegance.

 

“Remember,” Song Qian said again, “a geisha is a masked artist. Do not ever allow your emotions to ruin your mask, or you might as well halt your journey to become a geisha before you even begin.”

 

Kyungsoo panicked at that. Being a geisha was everything she had ever dreamt of since she was twelve. Back then, she had thought that she would remain a maid at the okiya for the rest of her life to repay her debts, a punishment for trying to escape from it. But something significant had happened on that particular year, when she had taken her first steps towards womanhood. It was precisely that experience which had pushed her to convince Mother into allowing her to pursue her studies in becoming a geisha again, even if she was years behind the rest of her cohort.

 

In that aspect, Song Qian was truly godsend.

 

“No, nee-san, please do not say such things!” She said, flustered. “You know how badly I want this, more than anyone else.” Kyungsoo’s intonation was bordering on throwing a childish tantrum now, if the slight narrowing of Song Qian’s eyes were anything to go by, and she quickly sealed her lips shut.

 

“If you say so,” Song Qian finally said after a short walk, the cleverly masked disapproval which only Kyungsoo could see disappearing without a trace as they turned around the corner where the Ichiriki Teahouse was situated. “Because when this day ends, you will officially be an apprentice geisha.”

 

Kyungsoo sucked in a deep breath when the reality of Song Qian’s words began to sink in, and smiled sincerely for the first time that evening.

  
  


\--

  
  


Kyungsoo had no idea if anyone could be more miserable than she was at the tender age of twelve, or had been through as many hardships. She’d lost both her parents and her older sister only two years prior – her parents due to old age, while her sister ran away from the prostitution house where she had been sold to because she was not attractive enough to be a geisha, unlike Kyungsoo with her bright, watery eyes that made people coo and her skin as white as snow.

 

Kyungsoo also had a mountain of debts on her head by then – money she owed to the okiya for buying her from her village; the money she had to pay back for Song Qian’s kimono which the principal geisha of her okiya, Ryeowook, had her ruin; and the money she had to pay to that prostitution house her sister ran away from – unlikely to be cleared even if she worked to her death as a maid at the okiya. Maids were paid pittance in those days, with barely enough food to provide them the energy to perform their chores.

 

To top it off, because Kyungsoo herself had tried to run away from the okiya with her sister, Mother had pulled her out of the school which was supposed to train her in the arts of being a geisha – the only way she could have repaid those debts and free herself before she turned fifty – citing her as a poor investment. Kyungsoo was enslaved for life at the age of twelve, and she thought her world had ended then and there.

 

It had been difficult for her to even get through a single day without feeling miserable, but it all changed on a day when the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, some months after Kyungsoo’s twelfth birthday.

 

The day hadn’t started off very much differently from her others; Kyungsoo had been sent out on an errand run, seeing that the only maid closest to her age in the okiya, Baekhyun, had to attend geisha classes and thus had been exempted from certain chores. Kyungsoo remembered being slightly jealous of Baekhyun for having more freedom than Kyungsoo would ever dare to hope for, before she reminded herself that she’d brought this punishment upon herself. It was the only way Kyungsoo could ever get herself out of bed back in those days.

 

But then Kyungsoo had been sent to the geisha school that afternoon – the only deviation she had from her usual list of daily chores – because Baekhyun had forgotten her shamisen. It was the first time in two years since Mother had pulled her out of her classes that Kyungsoo had set foot in the building, and only then did she realise how much she’d missed this lifestyle of hers. She shouldn’t have done this, but Kyungsoo found herself walking down the familiar hallways leading to classrooms where she had taken her lessons with Baekhyun in the past, reminiscing the days that had been after she had delivered Baekhyun’s musical instrument.

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes were filled with tears by the time she had arrived at the room where singing lessons were taught, and upon remembering how she had loved singing most out of her other classes, it was as though a dam had broken down. Kyungsoo ran with all her might out of the back entrance of the school when one of the teachers had seen her crying and had recognised her. She ran and ran until she could run no more, finally coming to a stop at a bridge.

 

The exhaustion caught on to Kyungsoo at last, and she drearily dragged herself to sit on the ground, facing the small stream which flowed right beneath her, not caring if the bridge was filled with people who were admiring the cherry blossoms lining the streets that afternoon. No one paid attention to a little girl wearing an outfit which represented the maids of the district, anyway. Kyungsoo was as good as invisible.

 

She had no idea how long she’d spent sitting there, staring at the flowing water with tears in her eyes, her small but already calloused hands gripping the stone railing of the bridge hard until the jagged edges cut into flesh, but she was startled when a large hand landed on her shoulder. Kyungsoo had been terrified then, wondering if Mother realised she had been gone from the okiya for much longer than was appropriate, and had taken it upon herself to search for Kyungsoo on the streets. Kyungsoo would be in for some severe beating if that was the case. Mother had never liked to be bothered with anything when money was not involved – and, in Kyungsoo’s case, even if she were a poor investment, Mother definitely could not afford to let her run off again, when her debts were piled up so high.

 

With a small gulp to calm her nerves, Kyungsoo shakily turned around to meet her fate.

 

The person who greeted her sight wasn’t Mother; rather, it was a kind-looking middle-aged man looking down at her with a bright smile on his face. Kyungsoo backed away in surprise, the fear climbing further when a beautiful woman that could only be a geisha (she wore the same kind of white face paint Ryeowook did, but wasn’t as pretty as Ryeowook was in her kimono) walked up to join them.

 

“You don’t have to be afraid, little girl.” The man said kindly. “Look at me.”

 

Kyungsoo kept her gaze down. Her fears aside, Kyungsoo knew better than to look at someone of high social standing straight in the eye. She was conscious of her lowly status as a maid, and Mother had taught her enough manners to ensure that Kyungsoo would not be insolent.

 

The man was relentless, however. Kyungsoo let out a gasp when his rough fingers gently caught hold of her chin and raised her gaze to meet his against her will. As reluctant as Kyungsoo was, she also knew better than to go against a master’s wishes. She winced at the memory of Mother’s beatings when Kyungsoo had dared to disobey her once in the past.

 

She wondered if she had something on her face, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious, when the man leaned in closer and examined her face this way and that. It seemed like ages had passed them by before the man released his hold on her and cocked his head to the side, watching Kyungsoo curiously.

 

Several more moments went by, with Kyungsoo still cowering away from the man, before he spoke again. “Pray tell,” he started, and Kyungsoo noticed the fatherliness in his voice. It made her miss her late father more, and she choked on her emotions, swallowing the invisible lump in her throat. “What is a pretty girl like you doing, sulking on such a beautiful day out? The cherry blossoms will not be pleased!”

 

Every will of hers to keep her gaze averted was gone in a flash, replaced by surprise and confusion as she searched his eyes for answers. No one had told her she was pretty before, save for her family and Baekhyun, but their observations did not count.

 

“Has no one told you you are beautiful? Ever?” The man had surprisingly sharp observation skills. Kyungsoo wondered if that was the reason behind the fine lines at the edges of his eyes. He must have narrowed his eyes often enough to cause them to wrinkle.

 

Remembering that he was still waiting for an answer, Kyungsoo hastily shook her head.

 

The man pursed his lips at her reply. “Well, you should hear these words more. I can foresee that you will grow up to be a pretty geisha just like Hyoyeon here.” He gestured to the geisha who was accompanying him. Kyungsoo was afraid for a moment, wondering if the geisha Hyoyeon would be ever so displeased to have a housemaid compared to her – Kyungsoo knew Ryeowook would throw a terrible tantrum behind closed doors if she were in that position – but Hyoyeon only hid her face shyly behind the sleeve of her pale pink kimono and laughed.

 

“Oh, President, I wonder if I should ever be so flattered by your words,” she said, earning a laugh from the man himself. Kyungsoo was mesmerised by his smile; she had never seen a smile so bright, so sincere in the okiya – not since she had left her village, in fact. Smiles in the okiya were dreary, calculated, cold.

 

“Perhaps a woman should not be the judge of another woman’s beauty.” The man Hyoyeon had called ‘President’ said again. Kyungsoo thought he might be the owner of some small company, not that she was a good judge of the quality of Western suits, just like she wasn't a good judge of the quality of kimono. He then turned towards Kyungsoo with his smile still intact. “How old are you, little girl, and what is your name?”

 

There was no way Kyungsoo could get away without answering now, nor could she run away from them. It would be rude. “My name is Kyungsoo,” she said meekly. “I’m twelve this year.”

 

“Ah,” he exclaimed brightly, as if making a great discovery. “That is perfect.” The man turned away from Kyungsoo again, and attempted to peer around Hyoyeon. “Junmyeon, why don’t you come over here and meet this charming little lady?” He called out, gesturing for someone to approach them, and Kyungsoo noticed for the first time that there was a boy close to her age with the President and Hyoyeon, standing some ways away from them.

 

When the boy neared Kyungsoo, she held her breath, her eyes widening as she drank in the sight of him. If Kyungsoo had to visualise the angels spoken of in legends, Junmyeon would fit the description perfectly. He was probably fairer than Kyungsoo was, his skin a smooth porcelain and devoid of flaws, his eyes reflecting nothing but kindness which Kyungsoo could feel even in the deepest depths of her soul, even if all Junmyeon did was to stand behind his father, beaming at her. He had a smile that very much resembled the older man, and Kyungsoo deduced that they must be father and son.

 

If Kyungsoo had been scared when the President had approached her earlier, she was now flustered when Junmyeon came forward and squatted in front of her.

 

“Hello there, Kyungsoo,” he said in a voice so soothing, Kyungsoo felt as though her own mother was physically there, caressing her with gentle hands. “Believe me when I tell you that I’ve never met a lady prettier than you.”

 

Somehow, when Junmyeon said that to her, Kyungsoo could bring herself to believe that his words were full of truth.

 

Her eyes widened further when Junmyeon pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and scrubbed at her face with it, cleaning away the soot on her skin. “Don’t let the dirt mar your beauty.” He beamed at her when he was done, and tucked the handkerchief into her hands, before patting her gently on the head and bidding her a goodbye.

 

It was precisely on that day that Kyungsoo had a renewed desire to become a geisha – seeing that Junmyeon was completely at ease with having Hyoyeon around him, Kyungsoo assumed he spent a lot of time being around them with his father. She figured it was the only way she could ever hope to see him again.

 

On that day, Kyungsoo fell in love with porcelain white skin and an angelic smile which warmed the deepest parts of her frozen heart.

  
  


\--

  
  


Kyungsoo found it surprisingly easy to fall into the routine of being a geisha, flocking from teahouse to teahouse with Song Qian whenever night loomed. The exhaustion did catch up to her rather quickly at first, when she would return to the okiya with her feet sore and her back stiff from the combined effort of keeping a perfect posture while wearing the very heavy kimono, night after night. It became enjoyable after a while, though, when Kyungsoo became accustomed to the weight of the kimono on her body and the height of the zori beneath her feet. Even if Kyungsoo was a little introverted most of the time, she did not mind the small conversations she made with her patrons.

 

She would become a good geisha, many a man had told her as they admired her unusual wit, different from other geishas who could only laugh emptily at more intellectual jokes. Kyungsoo wasn’t by any means well-learned herself, but she possessed the sincere interest in getting to know her customers better, and to entertain them to the best of her ability. Perhaps that was her defining point.

 

Song Qian told her it was more than enough, to have passion for her career; Zhou Mi echoed that thought, and, with a whisper, he had told her: Song Qian doesn't realise this herself, but that is exactly what makes her popular with men, for what is a beautiful vase without an equally beautiful flower within?

 

Kyungsoo caught her reflection in the moonlit pond as she crossed a bridge, and paused for a moment to appreciate it. Zhou Mi had done an extravagant job tonight, dressing Kyungsoo in a dark blue kimono which reflected the colour of the night skies, dotted with the silvery wings of fireflies, its hem a motif of water lapping against the shore, creating an illusion of true water ripples whenever Kyungsoo moved. A silver obi was tied around her small waist, making her outfit stand out even more, if the amount of stares she had caught directed to her waist was any indication of it. Her hair was done up in the customary bun of an apprentice geisha, adorned with a hair pin with a string of freshly-picked cherry blossoms dangling from its end to complement the event she was attending with Song Qian that evening. Her face was covered with the usual whiteness, her lips painted red and smaller than she would have worn the colour to make her look more demure.

 

Kyungsoo reached up and touched the side of her face, looking as her reflection in the water mirrored her actions. If there was something Kyungsoo wasn't quite yet accustomed to in her new life as a geisha, it was how drastically the clothes on her back and the paint on her face could change her outer appearance. Kyungsoo was by no means an ugly duckling when she was bare-faced, but right now, she had definitely been transformed into a beautiful swan. It still felt surreal, somehow, as though she was trapped in another person's body and looking at the world through the person's eyes.

 

"Ah, Kyungsoo, so there you are!"

 

Kyungsoo startled at the voice and turned away from the pond, only to find Song Qian walking up to her with a tall, well-groomed man in tow. The man was dressed in a starched Western suit, looking every bit smart and powerful, though what Kyungsoo thought peculiar was the way Song Qian practically glowed beside him, even in her simple beige kimono patterned with scattered petals of cherry blossoms. Kyungsoo really did envy her effortless beauty.

 

"Nee-san," she greeted with a demure dip of her body, the way she had been trained, and looked up at the pair through her lashes, remembering to keep her smile small so as to not contort her features. Every move was controlled, calculated, fine-tuned to perfection, and judging by the smile on Song Qian's lips, Kyungsoo was doing a good job at keeping herself together without her mentor by her side. "Is something the matter?"

 

"I have been searching high and low for you, dear sister." Song Qian said, then tugged lightly on the arm of the man she was escorting for the night. "I want to introduce you to someone. This is Baron Cho Kyuhyun, my danna."

 

Danna. Kyungsoo had heard of the term before in one of her lessons with Song Qian – he was the man who supported her financially, allowing Song Qian to live away from an okiya and keep all her earnings, in exchange for her companionship. But Kyungsoo cocked her head to the side curiously. There was something different about the light dancing in Song Qian's beautiful eyes as she looked at Kyuhyun; it was full of pride and... love?

 

It was peculiar. Kyungsoo had been told that while geishas may share an intimate relationship with their danna, they were never usually in love. The air surrounding Song Qian and Kyuhyun was evidently different from the times when Kyungsoo had met other geishas walking down the streets with their danna. She filed the question away for the next time they could converse in private.

 

Out loud, Kyungsoo said, "It is an honour to finally meet you, Baron. Qian nee-san has told me a lot about you."

 

At this, Kyuhyun seemed pleased as he shot an amused look at Song Qian. "Has she? I hope she hasn’t been saying bad things about me."

 

"Oh no, Baron. Nee-san has nothing but praises for you!" Kyungsoo immediately said, a little panicked. She glanced worriedly at Song Qian, searching for any signs that her mentor might be displeased with her, but found none. In fact, Song Qian appeared rather amused by Kyungsoo and Kyuhyun's exchange, as though she had expected this to happen.

 

"Have mercy on the poor girl, Kyuhyun." Song Qian berated him, and Kyungsoo could feel herself flush when Kyuhyun concurred with a chuckle. Kyungsoo didn’t fail to notice the way Song Qian had addressed Kyuhyun with his name instead of calling him 'Baron', though she felt it improper to ask Song Qian about it right now. She filed that away, too.

 

"You are a maiko, yes?" Kyuhyun asked Kyungsoo then, leaning closer to inspect her face. Kyungsoo wanted to shy away from the lack of distance, but froze in the middle of the action when Song Qian shot her a stern look, silently telling her to stay still. She had forgotten one fundamental rule: never shy away from men who want to examine your beauty from a closer distance. It was a sign of their interest. Kyungsoo probably looked like a tortoise now, with her chin tucked close to her neck, and she hoped she didn’t look too unflattering. Song Qian was probably going to give her an earful after the night was over.

 

Remembering that Kyuhyun was still waiting for an answer, Kyungsoo dipped her head coyly in response. "Yes, Baron. I still have years to spend under Qian nee-san's wonderful tutelage before I can stand on my own as a true geisha."

 

"Then it is important for you to stay away from horny old men who might be preying on you." Kyuhyun staged a whisper and shot an inconspicuous glance at the group of important-looking yet aged men in the distance, who were all glancing in their direction. Kyungsoo could feel the tips of her ears burning up, and fervently hoped they were admiring Song Qian's beauty instead. She wasn't quite used to being the centre of attention of a large crowd just yet, and it was something Song Qian was still trying to coax out of her, albeit rather unsuccessfully.

 

"Kyuhyun, please do not scare the girl!" Song Qian hushed him up at once, though again, there was more amusement than actual horror underlying her words. Kyungsoo was very confused.

 

Kyuhyun straightened himself with a grin. "I was merely dispensing useful advice. A pretty little thing such as Kyungsoo needs to learn how to protect herself."

 

Kyungsoo could only afford a meek nod in thanks. Song Qian, meanwhile, shoved at Kyuhyun playfully and said, "You should stop beating around the bush now, Baron. Did you not mention there was someone you wanted to introduce me to?"

 

"Ah, yes!" Kyuhyun clapped his hands together at the reminder. "He's good friend of mine. Perhaps you might find him a good company. Your little sister can come along, too." He said, linking his arm with Song Qian's and guiding her in the direction of the mansion. Everyone turned to stare at the pair as they passed them by, no doubt echoing Kyungsoo's thoughts of them being the perfect couple. Being only a maiko, Kyungsoo merely could glide gracefully after them, acting like the perfect accessory for the night's event.

 

It didn't take long for Kyuhyun to find his friend. The other man was mingling with other guests in the main hall, and Kyungsoo could see that he was quite the well-received person. She lingered some ways away from Song Qian and Kyuhyun, standing awkwardly in the middle of the hall and steadfastly ignored the way the other men were gawking shamelessly at her kimono-clad figure, staring resolutely ahead.

 

The man turned away from the conversation at hand when Kyuhyun tapped him lightly on the shoulder, and Kyungsoo's breath hitched in her throat when she caught sight of the man's smiling face.

 

Standing right there, glowing as brilliantly as she had remembered him to be, was Junmyeon.

  
  


\--

  
  


The sudden meeting with Junmyeon threw Kyungsoo off greatly. She had never expected to see him again so soon, merely four years down the road, and she had no idea how to act around him, for she was nothing more than a lowly apprentice geisha who was still trying to find her footing in this brand new world of entertaining men. Kyungsoo would’ve liked it better if she were to meet him again after she'd turned her collar and had gained enough confidence from her training, but right now, all she could do was to serve him in silence, pouring sake for him whenever he drained his cup.

 

Throughout the night, Kyungsoo kept stealing glances at Junmyeon, all while hoping he would not notice. Judging by the looks Song Qian was throwing in Kyungsoo's direction, however, she was probably being very obvious with her googly eyes. A geisha should never show her partiality for any one customer during a dinner party, she knew, but Kyungsoo really could not stop her gaze from wandering to Junmyeon, like a moth was attracted to flames.

 

Many a night she had dreamt of Junmyeon enjoying her company and laughing at her jokes, but reality was often nowhere close to her dreams. Junmyeon was drinking and laughing and enjoying himself, that much was true – but Kyungsoo wasn't the source of his joy. She was tongue-tied just by sitting next to Junmyeon, and did not think she could handle a proper conversation without tripping all over her words right now, if the way her heart was beating rapidly against her chest was any indication of it.

 

Above all, Junmyeon didn't even seem to have recognised her or her name when Kyuhyun had introduced them to each other, and Kyungsoo didn't know what to feel about it. She was depressed for a bit before her upbeat mood returned, thinking that this was the perfect opportunity to be reacquainted with Junmyeon – not that she really knew him at all before this.

 

Kyungsoo took a little longer – pouring several more sakes for Junmyeon in the process – before she finally managed to muster up her courage to talk to him, though the moment was lost when Kyungsoo raised her gaze and saw an undesirable person walk through the doors of the mansion, laughing and giggling at the greetings she was receiving from the other men. Ryeowook really had a way of ruining her evening, though Kyungsoo knew it was to be expected for her to hang around. Ryeowook had been doing that every so often as of late, trying to embarrass Kyungsoo and Song Qian with every opportunity she had. Kyungsoo could only feel sorry for innocent Baekhyun, who'd been dragged into the inexplicable rivalry between Ryeowook and Kyungsoo against her will.

 

Kyungsoo flashed an amiable smile at Baekhyun, who responded in kind. At least Ryeowook's influences hadn't corrupted Baekhyun's mindset yet, and for that Kyungsoo was glad. She had not lost a friend for now.

 

That was when Song Qian hurried over and grabbed Kyungsoo by the wrist, surprising the girl. “Come, you must entertain General Kim Youngwoon,” Song Qian whispered urgently, gesturing subtly at the burly man with short-cropped hair who was seated next to Kyuhyun and was apparently engaged in a very boisterous conversation with the rest of the table. Kyungsoo must have glanced at Song Qian with a confused look on her face, for her mentor immediately explained her rationale. “Ryeowook does not like General Kim, for he is rough and loud, and General Kim is not particularly fond of geishas either. He is one man that she will not touch in this room, but he is a man of immense power and wealth. Do make the effort to built a good relationship with him, for he will be able to help you a great deal in the future.”

 

Kyungsoo chewed on the insides of her cheek at the arrangement. Kim Youngwoon was by no means an unattractive man, sporting broad shoulders and a handsome face, but... Kyungsoo turned a little to look at Junmyeon again. She didn't want him to misunderstand her actions if she were to flirt around with the General, because Junmyeon was the person she had always been waiting for, even stepping onto the path of a geisha in hopes of seeing him again.

 

However, he didn't even seem to have noticed her absence, still chatting away with another old friend whom Kyungsoo did not know his name, and it was all that Kyungsoo needed to swallow her own desires and did as she was told by Song Qian.

 

She tried hard to ignore the pang of sadness in her chest for the rest of evening, so distracting that she did not even realise the way Ryeowook was enjoying the disappointment on Kyungsoo's face as she served Youngwoon with complete reluctance.

  
  


\--

  
  


It turned out that Youngwoon wasn’t deterred by Kyungsoo's stiff companionship during the dinner party, and Kyungsoo was pleasantly surprised when he had asked for her again the moment she and Song Qian stepped into the teahouse several nights later, albeit feeling guilty for not having served him with full eagerness previously. She felt that she did not deserve to be seated by Youngwoon's side, but Song Qian insisted for her to continue working her way into Youngwoon's heart, all while keeping her intentions a secret.

 

Kyungsoo obeyed Song Qian’s instructions without another word. I need you to have an unconditional trust in me and my plans for you, Song Qian had told her on the night they had sworn to the Heavens, the night they had been bound as sisters, and trust her unconditionally Kyungsoo did. She was certain that each and every one of Song Qian’s decisions was for her own good, even if the end goal was yet to be seen.

 

This time, Kyungsoo was determined to stick to her professional ethics, and did her level best to entertain Youngwoon during the party. Now that her full attention was focused on Youngwoon instead of getting distracted as she had been the other night, Kyungsoo found that Song Qian’s words rang true. While Youngwoon had indeed asked for her company, Kyungsoo ended up being nothing more than a beautiful accessory by his side, silently pouring sake after sake for Youngwoon as he conversed boisterously with the other guests in the party, as though Kyungsoo was nothing more than a servant responsible for filling his cup.

 

It was a bitter reminiscent of the brief amount of time she had spent serving Junmyeon, and Kyungsoo quickly pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind. Junmyeon was to be kept out of her mind for the night.

 

Deciding that she should use a different tactic, Kyungsoo chewed on her bottom lip and sighed exaggeratedly. “Dear General Kim, am I that uninteresting that you do not wish to speak to me?” She tried, and winced at her own words. They sounded petulant even to her ears, and absolutely did not reflect how Kyungsoo truly was, but at least it did gain Youngwoon’s attention.

 

Kyungsoo positively shrank back when Youngwoon raised a thick eyebrow at her. His presence was a little overbearing, but Kyungsoo was determined not to appear smaller than she already was. Despite her jitteriness, Kyungsoo smiled at Youngwoon. “It is rude to ignore a lady, General Kim. I am sure you know that.”

 

If she had piqued his interest previously, Kyungsoo now had Youngwoon’s full attention. He dropped the other conversation at hand and turned to regard Kyungsoo properly for the first time that night, and Kyungsoo tried not to flush at the intensity of his gaze. “I didn't peg you as someone who would say such things to draw attention to yourself.” He said gruffly, and there was an undertone of disrespect in those words. Even if Kyungsoo had succeeded in not blushing under the weight of his gaze, her cheeks burned at what Youngwoon had said.

 

“I–” Kyungsoo opened her mouth to refute his words, but found that she had nothing to defend herself with, and she flushed even harder. “I am not.”

 

Youngwoon scoffed and downed his sake with one gulp, before pushing the cup towards Kyungsoo. “Then do not employ such tactics when you are with me, stupid girl. I am sure many a person has told you that such charms do not work on me.”

 

Kyungsoo was stunned for one long moment, completely at a loss, before she realised he wasn’t insulting her. In fact, if she delved deeper into his words, there was even a hint of fondness in them. But still, Kyungsoo straightened herself and stepped back into the mould of a geisha, pouring more liquor into Youngwoon’s now empty cup. She deliberately drew the sleeve of her rose pink kimono up as she held the sake bottle with complete grace, allowing Youngwoon to have a peek of the exposed skin beneath.

 

Judging by the way Youngwoon had inhaled sharply before drawing slightly away from Kyungsoo, he was definitely affected by the sight – no man could resist even the slightest show of skin from a woman, especially not if the woman was a geisha. Kyungsoo wondered briefly if Junmyeon was the same.

 

Kyungsoo hid a smile before she looked up at Youngwoon through her lashes and held up his newly refilled cup. “Indeed, they have. If General Kim is inclined, this stupid girl is willing to discuss more serious topics with you.”

 

Again, Youngwoon scoffed at her, though his stance relaxed significantly as compared to before. “You better listen well. I do not like repeating myself twice, and if you are not interested, you had better leave now.”

 

“Of course not, General Kim. I may not look like it, but I am very interested in the current state of affairs. Alas, I am not well-learnt enough to obtain information from the papers,” Kyungsoo dipped her head demurely as a sign of respect and humbling. From the corner of her eyes, Kyungsoo could see Song Qian smiling approvingly at the development in her relationship with Youngwoon, and knew that she was on the right track when Youngwoon launched into an in-depth account of the situation of the war.

 

But for the rest of the night, Kyungsoo still could not stop herself from imagining Junmyeon in Youngwoon’s place, that instead of Youngwoon, Junmyeon was the one explaining the latest developments in the World War to her. It helped her concentrate better and feel more at ease, like a practice of sorts before her real encounter with Junmyeon, and she ignored the guilt that came with it.

  
  


\--

  
  


"Qian nee-san, could you please tell me where are we going tonight? I am really dying to find out." Kyungsoo pleaded for the umpteenth time that night as they glided down the oil lamp-lit streets of Gion, taking small and dainty but quick steps to their destination. Song Qian had kept a mysteriously tight lid on their schedule for the night, only telling Kyungsoo to put on the snow white kimono she had laid out for Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo thought herself an odd sight right now; it was the beginning of the summer months, yet here she was, wearing a white kimono with tiny silver threading which reflected the falling snow scattered across the fabric, pine trees decorating its hem and standing tall despite the harsh winter conditions they were living in. She fidgeted a little with her long sleeves.

 

Under the pale moonlight, Song Qian seemed even more ethereal, her skin almost translucent without the paint that was usually slathered across it. She was smiling when she turned to regard Kyungsoo, but somehow that smile of hers unnerved Kyungsoo.

 

True enough, the words which left Song Qian's lips had Kyungsoo stunned. "We are going for a dance recital," she told Kyungsoo calmly. "But to be more specific, you are going to perform."

 

Kyungsoo tripped a little on the cobblestone path they were on and stared slack-jawed at Song Qian for a long moment, before she finally recovered her composure when Song Qian nudged her in the side. It still did not stop her from hissing at her mentor, however. "Qian nee-san! I wish you would tell me such things a little earlier! What am I supposed to do without any preparations!"

 

Song Qian merely laughed; the sound had several men, who were passing them by, stopping to gawk at her. "You will do fine, Kyungsoo. Do you not remember what I have taught you during your dance lessons?"

 

Kyungsoo refrained from chewing on her white-and-red-painted bottom lip out of a nervous habit. Putting the colour back onto her face from scratch was too much of a hassle, even if it was nothing more than a tiny chip in her mask, and she'd rather avoid going through everything all over again. "I–"

 

"Just be yourself, and let your emotions flow with the music. You will do fine." Song Qian interrupted her mildly as they turned into the alley leading to the Ichiriki Teahouse, and Kyungsoo could only nod along. Indeed Song Qian had taught her that, even if she might not be the best student in dance.

 

"But this time," Song Qian said again after a beat of silence, "you will be collecting bidders for your mizuage as well, and I hope you will be clever enough to adapt to the situation."

 

"What?! But Qian nee-san, I am not ready for that!" Kyungsoo practically shrieked at Song Qian, immediately bowing her head in apology when she received a displeased glare from her mentor – it was unbecoming of a geisha to raise her voice in public.

 

"Nonsense. I am sure I am a good enough judge for your abilities. Or are you trying to say that your older sister is not fulfilling her responsibilities in training you well enough?" Song Qian raised an eyebrow at her.

 

Kyungsoo flushed red at the question, completely flustered, because Song Qian was ever so accommodating to her. "It is not that, nee-san. You are the best older sister I can ever dare to hope for. It's just–"

 

"Then that is more than enough." Song Qian cut her off resolutely. "Do well in your dance recital tonight, and I am sure you will be well on your way to becoming one of the most well-known geishas in Gion. I have promised Mother that you will repay all your debts before you turn twenty when I offered to be your mentor, and I believe you are capable enough to do that."

 

Kyungsoo could only bow her head in acquiescence, knowing Song Qian had her best interests at heart, all while hoping that she would not mess up her routine later.

  
  


\--

  
  


The story for the dance recital that night was of a woman pining for her husband who had gone missing during a hunting outing in the winter months. Her neighbours and family members all fear him dead in the forest, but she had refused to believe it. She insisted that he was still alive, and took it upon herself to embark on a journey in search of him.

 

The despair within her grew stronger as the days turned colder, and as the snow fell heavily upon the ground midway through her journey, she began to wonder if her neighbours and family members had been right after all. No one would survive under such harsh winter conditions up on the mountain, and she was well on her way to join the ones who had frozen to death in these woods.

 

The routine was supposed to depict the woman's sorrow and despair and longing through the dancer's movements, with the clever use of her sleeves to mimic the falling of tears and snow, but Kyungsoo frowned when she failed to execute the moves to perfection during her last-minute practice session. She knew she was being hard on herself, but Kyungsoo loathed to be the bearer of disappointments to Song Qian. Her mentor had worked so hard to make sure Kyungsoo learned the best tricks to ensure her survival in the geisha world, and it would simply not do to let her down.

 

Failing for yet another time, Kyungsoo heaved a dismayed sigh and leaned against the wooden beam outside the room she was supposed to perform in, hanging her head as she reflected upon her own mistakes. You are not putting enough emotions into your movements, Song Qian had told her during Kyungsoo's earlier tries before she'd left Kyungsoo alone to work on her routine a little more, but Kyungsoo was stumped. She had never felt such strong emotions before, and didn't think any of her past memories could ever compare to the woman's sorrows. Some emotions were easier to project when one had experienced them before, and this was one of them.

 

Kyungsoo reached into her silver obi and pulled out the handkerchief which had accompanied her through thick and thin for the past few years, and gripped tightly onto it. It belonged to Junmyeon, the very one he had given to her during their first meeting. "What am I supposed to do, Junmyeon-san? I do not want to disappoint Qian nee-san, but I cannot get this to work."

 

Just then, the door slid open ominously, revealing a rosy-cheeked Song Qian who peered out into the hallway in search of her protégé, and Kyungsoo jumped a little at the sound, quickly stuffing the handkerchief back into her obi, hoping Song Qian hadn't noticed it. There was no question that Song Qian had been drinking, but she was still very much sober when she called out for Kyungsoo.

 

"Oh, dear little sister! What are you doing in the hallway? Do come on in!" Song Qian said it with an undertone of astonishment, as if surprised to see Kyungsoo lingering in the hallways of the Ichiriki Teahouse, but Kyungsoo knew Song Qian went ahead to entertain the guests alone for the sake of buying Kyungsoo some time to practise. She wondered when will she ever stop being indebted to Song Qian.

 

“But Qian nee-san, I really am not ready yet!” She replied when Song Qian stepped out of the room to fetch her, flustered, but was careful enough not to rumple her kimono with her gesturing – it wouldn’t do for her to not look presentable before the night even truly began. She could hear the din of the guests enjoying themselves in the room filtering out into the humid summer air, and it added onto her nervousness.

 

“Nonsense, Kyungsoo. A geisha is always born ready to fulfill the responsibilities that are expected of her. Come now, the guests are waiting for you." Song Qian urged, wrapping her fingers around Kyungsoo's wrist and tugging her along, leaving no room for Kyungsoo to protest.

 

Kyungsoo swallowed hard to calm her nerves when the servants of the teahouse slid the door open for them, wondering just who were the guests present that night. The guests would definitely be composed of dignitaries and nobles, as the fees for an incense's time at the Ichiriki Teahouse didn’t come cheap, and true enough, the laughing face of Kyuhyun was the first to come into sight when Kyungsoo entered the room with Song Qian. Youngwoon was there too, and Kyungsoo had to force herself to smile through her nervousness when their gazes met, hoping that she did not appear constipated instead. There were other guests whom Kyungsoo did not recognise, though by looking at their uniforms and neatly-pressed suits, Kyungsoo was sure that her previous inference that the dinner party was made up of dignitaries and important people was accurate.

 

Song Qian led Kyungsoo right to the front of the room, and the men's chatter died down instantly, all of them turning their attention onto the maiko who stood before them in an extravagant kimono. She tried not to fidget with the hem of her sleeves, still feeling extremely self-conscious, but Kyungsoo immediately raised her gaze when Song Qian reached behind her and pinched her lightly on her waist.

 

Imagine Kyungsoo's surprise when she found none other than Junmyeon seated at the very front of the table, and she tried hard not to blush when her gaze locked with his. Junmyeon was watching her with a gaze so intense that Kyungsoo felt as though he could read all of her inner thoughts just by looking into her eyes, and she lowered her gaze a little, injecting the perfect amount of demure into her actions to hide her nervousness.

 

"I thank all of you for your patronage–" Kyungsoo spoke up the moment Song Qian had finished with her brief introduction, "–and I hope I will not disappoint all you kind gentlemen with my mediocrity."

 

The men all laughed and said she was being humble, that they were sure any protégé of Song Qian's will excel in dance as well, but when Kyungsoo chanced a look at Junmyeon again, she found him oddly serious-looking. There wasn't a trace of the smile she had fallen in love with all those years ago on the stone bridge during the season where sakuras bloomed.

 

She was still nervous for her performance even as Song Qian took her place on one of the floor cushions by the side, her shamisen held at the ready. Kyungsoo hadn't quite figured out how she should perform the sorrowful piece, but when she struck the opening pose with her face hidden behind the folded fan made of silk and her left hand twisted elegantly above her at the wrist, an idea came to her. The idea was heart-wrenching, with Kyungsoo imagining how it would feel if she were to lose Junmyeon for the rest of eternity, and she struggled to keep her tears at bay, a strong wave of emotions rushing up to greet her just then.

 

But with Junmyeon's gaze still trained on her, Kyungsoo suddenly found the courage and the inspiration to make the routine work, even if her chest ached greatly by just thinking about it. When the first note sprung off the strings of the shamisen, Kyungsoo fell effortlessly into the role of the woman who'd lost her husband, feeling her despair as though Kyungsoo would lose Junmyeon too.

  
  


\--

  
  


Word travelled fast in Gion, it seemed, though Kyungsoo supposes she shouldn't feel too alarmed by it. The geisha community in Gion was large, that much was true, but its members were tightly knit, and its customer base seemed to be interconnected too. A week after Kyungsoo had put up the show at the Ichiriki Teahouse, requests came pouring into the okiya, all asking for Kyungsoo's joint dance performance with Song Qian, night after night.

 

Kyungsoo didn't know how well she had performed on that particular night, and did not stay to find out either. Her eyes had been filled with tears by the end of the dance performance, the emotional surge too much for her to bear, and she had excused herself immediately before the paint on her face was ruined. Song Qian had nothing but praises for her, though, so Kyungsoo was comforted by the knowledge that she had done something right in the midst of her listlessness.

 

Ryeowook wasn't too pleased with that, however, and tried her best to embarrass Kyungsoo in as many parties as she could afford to follow Kyungsoo to. Kyungsoo had long since lost the will to be bothered by Ryeowook's presence, and was now better able to counter Ryeowook's attempts at sniping at her with even sharper comments. If there was one thing which made Kyungsoo feel bad, though, it was the fact that Baekhyun would always get caught in the middle of the feud between Kyungsoo and Ryeowook. There were times when Kyungsoo had wanted to speak to Baekhyun in private, to enquire about the progress of her training out of goodwill, but Baekhyun would always scamper away in the middle of the conversation whenever her mentor approached them in the okiya.

 

Kyungsoo sighed at the memory.

 

"Why do you sound so burdened, little sister?" Song Qian's soft voice cut into her thoughts, causing Kyungsoo to jump in her seat. For a moment, she'd forgotten that they were currently in an automobile – the first time Kyungsoo had ever been in one – and became grossly disorientated before she managed to regain her bearings.

 

Kyungsoo quickly shook her head as a reply to Song Qian. "It is nothing, nee-san. I was just thinking about something."

 

Song Qian turned to look out the window of the moving vehicle, and Kyungsoo followed her line of sight. They were currently driving through the countryside in Kyuhyun's car, to the location where they were supposed to entertain guests that morning, at a sumo match to be held on Kyuhyun's private estate. He’d sent for the vehicle to pick both Song Qian and Kyungsoo up from Gion, being unable to personally bring them over due to some other responsibilities at hand. Kyungsoo was mesmerised by the sprawling green fields covered in flowers of gold and purple and orange, and she thought there was probably nothing more breathtaking than this.

 

"I do hope you’re not worrying about your mizuage, Kyungsoo," Song Qian said mildly, her gaze still trained upon the scenery moving past them at a great speed. "You have been receiving a lot of bids, and the price of yourmizuage might even exceed mine soon enough."

 

Kyungsoo rightfully gasped in surprise at the revelation. "But I am not worthy of that, nee-san! I could never even dream of being better than you!"

 

This time, Song Qian turned around to regard Kyungsoo with a small frown. "Kyungsoo, my dear little sister, you ought to have more faith in yourself, if not in me." She said, her tone gentle and perhaps a little sad. Kyungsoo leaned into Song Qian's touch when the older woman brought her hand up to cup Kyungsoo's cheek tenderly. "You are a geisha of great potential, why can you not see that?"

 

"I–" Kyungsoo swallowed, thinking about Junmyeon and his lack of response, and Youngwoon with his frequent outbursts at her, then sighed again. "How great can I be if I cannot hold even the interest of one man?" She looked away, and her heart fell into the pit of her stomach when she realised what she had just said.

 

If Song Qian had picked up the subtle message Kyungsoo had accidentally conveyed from the slip of her tongue, that she was in love with someone she could not even dream of getting, she didn’t comment. Instead, she mirrored Kyungsoo's actions and heaved a sigh as well. "Someday, Kyungsoo. Someday you will understand what I have been trying to tell you."

 

Kyungsoo could only hope that it was true.

  
  


\--

  
  


The main event hall was already filled to the brim with sumo wrestling enthusiasts by the time Song Qian and Kyungsoo had arrived. Kyungsoo had been stunned speechless by Kyuhyun's sprawling estate when they had gotten off the car, and to even have a special event hall such as this–

 

Kyungsoo could only formulate one possible explanation: Kyuhyun's riches were vast.

 

As they made their way through the crowd, Kyungsoo could tell that most of the men's attentions were focused on Song Qian and her, probably wondering what were two women in beautiful kimonos doing in a sumo arena, where the smell of sweat and excitement and testosterone permeated the air. Kyungsoo had to admit, their colorful kimonos stood out in the sea of greys and blacks, and she subconsciously curled slightly into herself, trying to turn the attention away from her, though she couldn’t help her gaze from wandering.

 

Still too preoccupied with looking around and taking in the sights of the wrestling arena, Kyungsoo inhaled sharply when she realised that Song Qian was already walking far ahead of her, and she gathered the hem of her kimono, walking briskly to catch up to her elder sister without making herself looking too dishevelled.

 

"Pay attention, Kyungsoo." Song Qian laughed lightly when Kyungsoo managed to match her pace. "It would not do for you to go missing here. The Baron's estate is not small."

 

"I understand, Qian nee-san." Kyungsoo nodded. "But may I be so curious to ask, who else will we be entertaining today, apart from Baron Cho?"

 

"Always the curious one, are you not?" She teased, and Kyungsoo squawked a little from indignation. "It is unfortunate that General Kim isn’t able to attend the function today, for he has some military affairs to deal with. But we are to keep the Kim family company. They are father and son, owners of the largest ferry company in Japan."

 

"Oh?" Kyungsoo mused aloud, and though part of her was rejoicing over the fact that she wasn’t expected to serve Youngwoon today, she kept her emotions under check, trying not to appear too enthusiastic. Now that Song Qian had mentioned they had other guests to entertain, however, Kyungsoo's curiosity was piqued once again.

 

It didn't take long for the lingering questions in Kyungsoo's mind to be answered, though. She had no idea what to say about her fate, or what sort of emotions she should have, when a familiar side profile greeted her when she followed Song Qian up to the elevated seats where Kyuhyun was waiting for them. Kyungsoo was sure, though, that her smile was frozen in place when she came face to face with Junmyeon and his father, feeling completely surprised and baffled at the same time that they should meet here.

 

At least, his father seemed to have a better memory, for he guffawed and greeted Kyungsoo with open arms before Kyungsoo could even bow in greeting. "My dear girl!" The older man boomed, while Junmyeon stood respectfully behind his father, hands neatly folded in front of him. "You are Kyungsoo, are you not? The girl I met all those years ago on the bridge?"

 

Kyungsoo, who'd been observing Junmyeon's expressions from the corner of her eye, was mildly disappointed when he did not react to his father's words. He was still smiling, though there wasn’t any indication that he remembered that particular incident at all. Realising that President Kim was still waiting for an answer, Kyungsoo quickly dipped her head in response. "Yes, Mr. President. This plain girl is humbled that you remember me still. I did not think I am so memorable after all."

 

President Kim laughed heartily at her comment. "I do not forget people so easily, Miss Kyungsoo, and I can say the same about my son here." He said, and Kyungsoo's heart leapt a little. Could it be possible that Junmyeon didremember her after all, and if so, why was he pretending that he didn't know her? "I am glad that you have opened up more. You were such a shy girl in the past! And you have grown up to be such a beautiful lady, too."

 

Kyungsoo positively blushed at the compliment. "You are far too generous with your words, President Kim. I am but a simple girl, but it is thanks to you that I have decided to become a geisha." She informed him, though when she’d said the latter part of her sentence, Kyungsoo fixed her gaze upon Junmyeon, hoping that she could somehow convey her feelings to him.

 

He remained impassive, and Kyungsoo thought she should stop feeling disappointed by now.

 

"It seems," Song Qian spoke up then with a smile, "that there isn't a need for formal introductions. This is such a small world."

 

"Indeed it is, Miss Song. I did not expect that you would take in a student to pass down your art." The President told her, and Song Qian dipped her head demurely.

 

"But it is in my great pleasure to teach, President Kim, even if I do not look the part."

 

Her words earned a hearty chuckle from the President. "Now, now, you are far too humble as well, Miss Song. Shall we adjourn to the seats and join your dear danna? I loathe to keep him waiting.” He chimed, before turning to regard Kyungsoo with the same fatherly smile he had sported all those years ago. It stirred something warm within Kyungsoo. “Miss Kyungsoo, you can sit with my son. I am sure you are a much better company for him than this old man will ever be."

 

Junmyeon finally spoke up then, a small, amused chuckle preceding it. It transformed his eyes into attractive crescents, and Kyungsoo felt as though she was falling in love all over again. "You underestimate your importance in my life, Father." he said politely, as Kyungsoo willed her heart to be still.

 

“Perhaps, but you should go and enjoy yourselves! Do not let this old man here keep you from that. I will take my leave now, so go.” President Kim insisted, and Junmyeon conceded with a respectful bow.

 

Kyungsoo could only watch in silence with Junmyeon as his father led Song Qian away from them, chatting animatedly as they joined Kyuhyun at the seats reserved for them. She nodded in greeting when Kyuhyun glanced over at them after having spoken to Song Qian, and felt a little flustered when her presence was acknowledged with a small wave. Kyungsoo wondered just when she would finally grow accustomed to having important people take notice of her.

 

“I am not one to be fond of sumo matches, unlike my father, Miss Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon suddenly said, causing Kyungsoo to gasp a little and whip around to look at him. Kyungsoo was sure that the surprise was written plainly on her face, and his gaze on her was so intent that she had to lower her eyes and focus them elsewhere. Any more of it, and the colour would’ve shown through the white makeup on her face and what little tint of red she already had on her cheeks. “Would you do me the honour of accompanying me outside for a walk instead?”

 

Kyungsoo sucked in a deep breath and went still at his request. Did she hear him wrong? He had never shown the slightest indication that he remembered what had happened in the past, so why was he doing this now? Was it only because his father had instructed for him to have her company?

 

She bit on her rouge-painted lips, her gaze flickering towards him, and she could see nothing but the insistence dancing in his eyes. In the end, Kyungsoo let go the last of her hesitation, and smiled back at Junmyeon.

 

"The pleasure is mine, Junmyeon-san."

  
  


\--

  
  


Their walk through Kyuhyun's beautifully maintained garden was silent for the most part, save for the clacking of stones on which they have stepped upon, but Kyungsoo felt oddly at peace for the first time in a very long while. There wasn't the slightest hint of an awkward atmosphere around them, unlike the times when she ran out of conversation topics while entertaining Youngwoon; for that, she was glad. This was what she had been dreaming of all this while, and to have it fulfilled in such a manner – she honestly couldn’t ask for more.

 

Unlike the other men who would touch her at every opportunity they had, though, Junmyeon kept a respectful distance from Kyungsoo, and she felt somewhat frustrated by that. She knew it was not ladylike to admit such things openly, that she wanted to feel Junmyeon's touches on her skin, so she kept it in, letting her nails dig into the soft flesh of her palms to distract her from those thoughts.

 

"You seem tense, Miss Kyungsoo. I wonder why is that?" Junmyeon mused, as though able to read Kyungsoo's thoughts, and she stiffened slightly before forcing herself to relax again.

 

"My greatest apologies, Junmyeon-san. I am a little jittery when I am alone with a customer, I'm afraid." She smiled wryly. It wasn't a complete lie, anyway. "You can call me Kyungsoo. There is no need to remain too formal with me."

 

Junmyeon laughed out loud, seemingly amused by Kyungsoo's comment, and Kyungsoo flushed, wondering if she had just embarrassed herself in front of him. "You are an interesting person, Kyungsoo," he said, and Kyungsoo's heart leapt at the way her name sounded on his lips. "And, in return for saving me from that boring sumo match, you can just call me Junmyeon."

 

Kyungsoo blinked up at him. Her other customers would never allow her to call them without any formal suffixes, yet here Junmyeon was, breaking the norm. "But–"

 

Junmyeon paused in his steps just then and beamed at her. "It is only fair that I should allow you that, Kyungsoo. I want to treat you as an equal, not someone beneath me."

 

In her flustered state, Kyungsoo made to bow in thanks at Junmyeon, but he was quick to stop her. Kyungsoo couldn't stop herself from thinking how warm Junmyeon's touch was, or how badly she wanted to lean further into it.

 

"You don’t have to do that with me, Kyungsoo. We are friends now, are we not?" Junmyeon chuckled, and began leading them down the cobblestone path once again, his hand still a warm presence on her elbow. "Come, let me show you the rest of the Baron's estate."

 

This time, Kyungsoo could not stop the smile from blooming on her expressions.

  
  


\--

  
  


"You seem really happy these days, Kyungsoo. Did something happen?" Baekhyun whispered in the dark. The period of time before they fell asleep was the only opportunity they could get to talk to each other these days, what with Ryeowook watching Baekhyun's every move closely. The extra room in the okiya was being renovated, so Kyungsoo had to share a room with Baekhyun until it was done – not that Kyungsoo was complaining about it. In fact, she couldn't be happier that Mother had insisted on putting them in the same room, even against Ryeowook's protests.

 

Kyungsoo turned a little in her futon towards the direction of Baekhyun's voice. Baekhyun's eyes were bright even in the darkness enveloping them, her presence very much welcomed. "I have no complaints about life, I suppose." She smiled, even though Baekhyun probably could not see it.

 

After spending the day with Junmyeon at Kyuhyun's estate, chatting about everything and nothing at the same time, the invisible wall between them seemed to have melted away. Kyungsoo could not be more glad that Junmyeon was more forthcoming now, frequently extending his invitation for Kyungsoo to join his dinner parties, where Kyungsoo felt more at home than many other functions she had attended before. With every passing meeting, Kyungsoo seemed to fall deeper for Junmyeon’s charms and smile and warmth.

 

Kyungsoo was glad that Song Qian was more lenient on her now, allowing her to attend these parties on her own from time to time, citing that she wanted Kyungsoo to learn how to drink responsibly and stand on her own feet. It was part of the training to gear Kyungsoo up for her life after her mizuage ceremony, it seemed, when she would turn her collar and become a full-fledged geisha. There weren’t many days left until the winning bid was announced, and Kyungsoo was beginning to worry how it would turn out. She’d heard other older geishas recount their mizuage experience, and one thing was clear: it would hurt if the man was impatient and couldn’t care less about her comfort.

 

"Oh how I envy you, Kyungsoo!" Baekhyun lamented, careful to keep her voice low. The walls of the okiya were rather thin, and Ryeowook was just in the next room. "Ryeowook nee-san doesn't quite allow me to step out of her sights, and it is honestly quite frustrating!"

 

Kyungsoo patted Baekhyun's cheek fondly and somewhat apologetically. "I know how overbearing she can get, Baekhyun, and I truly feel sorry for you."

 

She could feel Baekhyun shake her head at her words, before her cheek muscles pulled taut into a smile. "Don't be. I should be glad that Ryeowook nee-san bothers to teach me at all. I know I am not the brightest student–"

 

"Nonsense, Baekhyun!" Kyungsoo shushed her up. "You are smarter than a lot of the geishas roaming the streets, so do not belittle yourself. Have more confidence!"

 

"You should take your own advice too," Baekhyun laughed, the sound a tinkling melody, and Kyungsoo knew that she had successfully lifted Baekhyun's mood. "You used to be so unsure of yourself in the past, but at least you are improving now."

 

Kyungsoo blinked. "Was I?"

 

"Yes, you were." Baekhyun replied, tone sincere. "But whatever it is that had happened in the past few weeks, I hope it continues to bring happiness to you."

 

"Thank you, Baekhyun. We should sleep. It is another long day tomorrow." Kyungsoo smiled, and snuggled a little closer to Baekhyun, remembering those days when they used to cling to each other for warmth during the colder winter days. Even though it was the height of summer now, Baekhyun leaned into Kyungsoo, too, and for a moment, they pretended as though they were back in the past, when they were still nothing but mere students attending geisha school.

 

It gave her a solid sense of comfort and security, and Kyungsoo fell asleep with a genuine small on her face, her heart feeling contented with what she had right now.

  
  


\--

  
  


"This is for you."

 

Kyungsoo looked up in surprise when an ornamental box was pushed into her view, taken aback by the sudden gift. While she had received many gifts from other men before this, lavished with trinkets and expensive fabrics, Kyungsoo would never peg Youngwoon, of all people, to give her something.

 

"General Kim, I–" she stammered, putting down the sake bottle with shaky hands and pulling the gift to herself. As reluctant as she was to receive it, it would come off as rude if she didn’t take the gift, and it would certainly offend Youngwoon. Song Qian wouldn’t be pleased, when she was trying to get Youngwoon to bid for her mizuage. Youngwoon was influential, and it would do Kyungsoo's reputation a lot of good to be seen around him. "I don't know what to say–"

 

"Then don't." Youngwoon said gruffly, making Kyungsoo jump a little from his voice. He seemed genuinely apologetic for scaring her, though, and heaved a sigh. "I just want you to have it. There isn't a need to say anything."

 

"Thank you," Kyungsoo said sincerely, smiling a little, and made to open the box in front of Youngwoon as manners dictated her to. Her eyes widened in response when she found a golden hairpin with the motif of a peacock within the box, and she snapped around to look at Youngwoon again. "But General–"

 

Youngwoon clenched his jaw a little, as though getting annoyed at Kyungsoo, but just as Kyungsoo thought that he was going to blow up at her, Youngwoon sucked in a deep breath instead. "I thought it would look nice on you," he told her. "You can leave it if you do not like it. I am not forcing you to accept the gift."

 

Kyungsoo blushed and smiled a little wider at his statement, knowing full well that Youngwoon actually wanted her to accept it. He was merely pretending as though he simply didn’t care. "But it would be rude of me to reject it." She said as-a-matter-of-factly. "And then what would General Kim think of this stupid little girl then?"

 

There was a soft grunt, quiet enough for Kyungsoo to hear. "I will still think that you are marginally more intelligent than the other geishas around, and I will tolerate just you.”

 

Song Qian, who heard the praise, leaned over with a teasing smile. “Why General Kim, are you smitten by our Kyungsoo here?”

 

Horrified, Kyungsoo turned around and hit her mentor lightly on the knee, hoping she would stop. Song Qian simply would not back down, however, her smile taking a challenging edge now that Youngwoon was tense all over.

 

Youngwoon simply turned away with a huff, and Kyungsoo tried hard not to laugh. It was entirely too amusing to see the usually headstrong General so flustered, even if she did feel bad for him. “You should put that hairpin on for your protégé and be quiet, Miss Song, or you can both leave.” He said begrudgingly, just as Kyuhyun joined them in the room.

 

Kyuhyun eyed Youngwoon disapprovingly, and clicked his tongue. “You should keep in mind not to speak to my beloved Song Qian in such a manner, Youngwoon, for I am not a very forgiving man.” He warned, but Kyungsoo could see the mischievous glint in his eyes. True enough, the words which left Kyuhyun’s lips moments later sent the whole room into a laughing fit. “Also, Youngwoon, I would not peg you as such a sentimental person. Did the war mellow you down too much?”

 

At this, Youngwoon positively turned scarlet, and lunged playfully in Kyuhyun’s direction. Song Qian and Kyungsoo quickly got out of the way, giggling at the two men’s antics, and the drinking party got into full swing from then on. Somewhere in between, however, Song Qian leaned in and whispered to Kyungsoo as she fastened the hairpin on for Kyungsoo, “Good, you have captured General Kim’s heart. He is not one to give presents, especially not to geishas, and you are the very first to receive something from him. You should be proud.”

 

Yet, at that particular moment, what Kyungsoo felt within her was not pride, but an overwhelming sense of dread. Even though she was acting under Song Qian’s instructions, she had only intended to hold Youngwoon’s interest, not make him fall for her in the end. While she had no idea if what Song Qian had said was true, Kyungsoo could not help but feel increasingly uneasy whenever she would catch Youngwoon looking in her direction.

 

At the end of the day, there was only one person whom Kyungsoo wanted to pay attention to her. If Youngwoon did indeed fall for her, there was only one ending – one of immense heartbreak – waiting for him. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if she wanted to be a part of that inevitable end.

  
  


\--

  
  


Kyungsoo had no idea how the situation had turned out this way, but when she had shaken off most of the sakehaze clouding her mind, she suddenly found herself alone with Junmyeon in the room. She had been troubled for days on end, thinking about Youngwoon and his possible feelings for her, and had taken up Junmyeon’s invitation to another drinking party that night, when she felt that she could no longer keep the thoughts bottled up within her. Kyungsoo had heard from the other more senior geishas that drinking could help you forget your worries, and on a whim, she decided to test the theory out. However, now that she had awoken with absolutely no memory of what had happened earlier, Kyungsoo began to regret her impulsiveness.

 

It was already late into the night, she was sure, and the other guests have all left the room in a complete mess ofsake bottles and leftover food, but the servants of the teahouse they were in had been kind enough to leave Kyungsoo and Junmyeon undisturbed. Junmyeon was watching Kyungsoo when she came to, and did not bother averting his gaze even when Kyungsoo scrambled to pull her kimono together. He smiled when she bowed in apology at him. "Do not worry, no one touched you after you passed out. I made sure of that."

 

Kyungsoo glanced at the state of her kimono, and realised that he was telling the truth. There wasn't a single piece of fabric out of place, and her obi was still bound tightly around her waist, the way Zhou Mi had left it. Still, it did not stop Kyungsoo from blushing. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this. I hope I did not do anything to embarrass myself in your presence, Junmyeon."

 

Junmyeon chuckled softly, the sound sending tiny shivers down Kyungsoo's spine, almost as though he was laughing in her ear. Kyungsoo could feel her cheeks heat up at the mere thought of Junmyeon being close enough for her to feel his breath fanning across her face.

 

"Rest assured, you have been sleeping comfortably all this while." He said, but the corner of his mouth twisted into a wry smile. "You should be mindful of the amount of sake you down, though. I am responsible for your safety when Song Qian is not here with you, but I cannot always keep my eyes on you, even if I wanted to."

 

Kyungsoo dipped her head in apology once again. "I apologise for having caused you so much trouble, Junmyeon. I will pay heed to your advice in the future."

 

“It will be your mizuage ceremony soon, am I right?” Junmyeon suddenly changed the topic, and Kyungsoo’s gaze snapped towards him. She had never mentioned it to him before – couldn’t find it in herself to bring it up in his presence – and she wondered just how he had come to know about it. Perhaps it really was true that there were no secrets within the geisha community in Gion, or its customer base.

 

“Y–yes.” She stuttered, the blood rushing to her face when her mind helpfully supplemented images of Junmyeon hovering over her in a dimly-lit room, untying her obi with much gentleness– “It will be in a week’s time.”

 

Kyungsoo didn’t know if she had imagined it, but she thought she saw a hint of sadness flash across Junmyeon’s eyes, and her heart ached for him. Before she could do anything, though, Junmyeon was already crossing the room, kneeling next to Kyungsoo and cupping her face with a warm hand. Kyungsoo subconsciously brought her own hand up and pressed it over Junmyeon’s, keeping his warmth there, smiling tenderly at him. Her pulse raced at the way he was looking at her, his gaze intense yet unreadable at the same time.

 

“Please take good care of yourself, and I do wish you will not be hurt by the man who wins the bidding,” he told her, and Kyungsoo knew by instinct that he wasn’t one of those who had submitted a bid for her mizuage.

 

Feeling a little bold from the alcohol that was still running through her veins, Kyungsoo looked up at him challengingly. “Why did you not bid for it, if you are so concerned for my well-being? And do you actually remember the first time we have met, all those years ago?”

 

Junmyeon averted his gaze, and Kyungsoo pegged him for feeling guilty. Somehow, it gave her a twisted satisfaction to know that he cared about the way she viewed him. "I do remember." He said quietly. "And I could not possibly submit my bid for your mizuage, not when my father is also a part of those bidding for you."

 

Kyungsoo choked on air at the revelation, her eyes widening. A part of her told her that she should be alarmed by the fact that Junmyeon's father was bidding for her mizuage – Song Qian must have informed President Kim during the sumo match, while Kyungsoo and Junmyeon were away taking a stroll in the gardens – but somehow, she had ended up being on a one-track mind, concerning herself with the one thing she had been puzzled over all this while. "You remembered?" There was an undertone of incredulity in Kyungsoo's words, for she had been pondering over the matter for such a long period of time, lost without answers to her lingering questions, only to be told that Junmyeon actually remembered their meeting in the end. "But why–"

 

"Why did I pretend not to know you, not to remember?" Junmyeon cut her off with a wry smile, his thumb stroking her cheek gently. Kyungsoo nodded slowly. "I was not clear with what I wanted, but now I am."

 

"And just what is it?" Kyungsoo was surprised when her voice came out as nothing more than a silent whisper, but she was not given any time to mull over it, when Junmyeon leaned in and closed the distance between their lips – Kyungsoo wasn't the only one feeling brazened from all the sake they had that night.

 

The kiss was soft, a gentle press of lips against lips, yet Kyungsoo could feel her heart swelling with happiness in her chest, as though she'd found something she had never known she had lost. She pressed in closer to Junmyeon, her hand still holding Junmyeon's incredibly warm one against her cheek, and wished that this moment would never end. She must have dreamt of this at least a thousand times by now, but Kyungsoo thought that this was much, much better than all her dreams combined.

 

"Don't cry. I will stop if you feel this is inappropriate." Junmyeon murmured against her lips just then, surprising Kyungsoo, and it was only then that Kyungsoo could feel the tears wetting the corners of her eyes.

 

"No," Kyungsoo whispered back urgently, her hands moving to grip the front of Junmyeon’s starched white shirt to keep him there. "This is everything I've wanted, ever since the day we have met and parted and met again."

 

It was the permission Junmyeon needed to pull Kyungsoo into his lap, deepening the kiss and sliding his lips against Kyungsoo's painted ones, trying to coax them open. Kyungsoo gasped at the foreign sensation pooling in the pit of her stomach, and Junmyeon grasped the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth, languidly exploring it before sucking on her tongue. Kyungsoo melted in his arms, her eyes fluttering shut at the way he was making her feel, scared yet excited at the same time.

 

When Junmyeon began to plant butterfly kisses along the angle of her jaw and down her neck, Kyungsoo threw her head backwards in pleasure, allowing Junmyeon more access to her skin. It wasn't until Junmyeon had arrived at the neckline of her kimono, the weight of his hands heavy on her obi, that Kyungsoo jerked away from him, suddenly remembering what Song Qian had told her once – do not let any other man apart from Zhou Mi undo your obi before your mizuage, or you will be worthless, and you might as well tie your obi on the front instead of holding it together with a complex knot behind you.

 

She was horrified by what she had nearly allowed herself to do, that she had been close to equating herself with the darker, dirtier side of Gion where her sister had been sold to, and Kyungsoo quickly climbed out of Junmyeon’s lap, putting as much distance as she could between herself and Junmyeon, even though her insides screamed to be close to him.

 

“Kyungsoo–” Junmyeon spoke up, kneeling on the wooden floorboards and looking up at her with eyes bright with desire, tainted by disappointment.

 

“I can’t–” Kyungsoo said at the same time, swallowing against the bile threatening to rise in her throat. “I cannot do this, Junmyeon. I’m sorry.”

 

It was all that Kyungsoo could manage to say, before she found herself gathering the hem of her kimono and bolting out of the room without another second wasted, too afraid of lingering in the room for far too long when she was alone with Junmyeon, when she had been so close to giving in to her own desires and forgetting everything Song Qian had been doing for her sake. She could feel the stray strands of hair which have fallen out of her pin whipping against her face as she ran, but Kyungsoo couldn’t really care about how she looked right now (probably dishevelled), only wanting to return to the okiya as soon as she could.

 

She ignored even the desperate calls of her name coming from behind, forcing herself not to turn around through sheer will alone. Kyungsoo knew that if she stopped in her steps and allowed Junmyeon to speak what was on his mind, she would walk upon the path of no return.

 

So Kyungsoo continued to run, taking no notice of Junmyeon’s stricken face, or Ryeowook’s gleeful expressions when she passed by the older woman on her way out, and did not stop until she was safely back in the okiya, curled up into herself on her futon.

 

Sleep did not come easy to her that night.

  
  


\--

 

Kyungsoo was met with a resounding slap across her cheek the moment she stepped into Song Qian's residence to get ready for the night ahead of them. While her eyes were filled with tears because of the stinging pain which lingered long after Song Qian had let her hand drop by her side, Kyungsoo couldn’t say that she was surprised by her mentor's actions. She had heard of the way the other geishas were gossiping about her, throwing dirty looks at her when Kyungsoo had passed them by on her way to Song Qian's home, and Kyungsoo managed to gather that someone had been spreading vicious gossip about her.

 

"Qian nee-san–" Kyungsoo started, her voice quivering from fear of what Song Qian might have heard on the streets, but she was silenced when Song Qian sent her the most baleful look. Her mentor was very angry with her indeed.

 

"Do not call me nee-san if you have the nerve to fool around with another man before your mizuage!" Song Qian hissed, and Kyungsoo rightfully paled. She didn't have to ask to know that Song Qian was talking about Kyungsoo's encounter with Junmyeon yesterday night, but who was the one who had seen them? "Do you know how detrimental that is to your bids? Many a man have heard about your disgraceful deeds and have pulled out!"

 

"But nee-san!" Kyungsoo cried out. "I have done nothing out of line! Please, trust me!"

 

Song Qian reeled around to face her, the frustration clear on her expressions, and Kyungsoo guiltily took a step backwards. "I trust you, Kyungsoo! I really do! Otherwise I would not have allowed you to attend events on your own when you are but a maiko! But what about the others who do not know of your character? Do you think they would have cared to investigate every rumour they hear?" She asked. Kyungsoo could see the way Song Qian's body was trembling, probably in an effort to tone down her anger, and Kyungsoo swallowed thickly to calm her rising panic. She was in no position to cry.

 

"Nee-san–"

 

Song Qian raised a hand to stop Kyungsoo from saying anything else, and dropped herself onto a floor cushion, the exhaustion claiming her. "Do you know how a simple misstep could jeopardise everything I have been doing for you?"

 

"I'm sorry, Qian nee-san, I really am!" Kyungsoo quickly knelt beside her beloved mentor and grabbed her arm, shaking it pleadingly. She had been afraid that this would happen, and had been so careful with her actions all this while, yet all it took was one night with Junmyeon for the whole foundation to shake. Not even a full day had passed since the incident, yet this was the aftermath of it.

 

Kyungsoo shuddered. The hanamachi was indeed a dangerous place, when there was so much jealousy floating about.

 

"There is no need to say you’re sorry to me. You should feel sorry for yourself, for it was Ryeowook who saw you running out of the room with Junmyeon following after. Your luck ran thin yesterday night." Song Qian's eyes were closed as she massaged her temples to ease her headache, before picking up her teacup and taking a small sip from it.

 

Meanwhile, Kyungsoo felt nauseated at what she’d just been told. So Ryeowook had been the spark of all the vicious gossip floating about, and needless to say, Ryeowook must’ve added her own spin to the story, to make it sound as dramatic as possible. She really had no idea what she had done to anger the principal geisha of her okiya, so much so that Ryeowook refused to remove her claws from Kyungsoo's back. Kyungsoo wondered if it was because she had stumbled upon Ryeowook’s tryst with her lover Jongwoon in the shack behind the okiya once, back when Kyungsoo was still nothing but a lowly maid. She had stayed out of Ryeowook's way the best she could ever since, even keeping the incident a secret from Mother, so why?

 

"We have to arrange for you to be examined – not because I do not trust you, but because we have to convince the public that you are intact." Song Qian said again, but to Kyungsoo, it sounded as though she was speaking to herself rather than to Kyungsoo.

 

Out of politeness' sake, though, Kyungsoo nodded in agreement, knowing Song Qian was awaiting her answer. The thought of being examined frightened Kyungsoo – she'd experienced it once, before she was brought to Gion from her fishing village with her sister, and the doctor hadn't exactly been gentle with her, leaving a nasty, painful bruise on the inside of her thigh which did not fade until weeks after – but if this was the only way to prove her innocence, then she was going to sit through it quietly.

 

After all, this was a mess she had created. It was only natural for her to take full responsibility for it, and she tried her level best to not think about Junmyeon and how heartbroken he must have been when she'd pushed him away at the teahouse yesterday.

  
  


\--

  
  


The week leading up to her mizuage ceremony was far more hectic than Kyungsoo had expected it to be. There were many prayer ceremonies to complete, a visit to Kiyomizu-dera to ask for the gods' blessings, a complete grooming session, as well as an additional medical examination to determine if Kyungsoo was still indeed intact, or had been deflowered like Ryeowook had been spreading around Gion.

 

Song Qian planned the examination ceremony as part of the plot to bring Ryeowook down, and had insisted for Ryeowook to be there to bear witness to the proceedings. Ryeowook, who wanted to see Kyungsoo destroyed for reasons that only she knew, was only too eager to agree. While Kyungsoo felt sorry for Ryeowook's impending public shaming, she said nothing about it. After all, Ryeowook had been making her life miserable since day one, even if she appeared to treat Kyungsoo well on the surface when they were out of the okiya. Kyungsoo was appalled at how two-faced Ryeowook could get.

 

In the end, Ryeowook's expressions soured when the doctor announced that Kyungsoo was indeed still a virgin, and Kyungsoo held the triumphant smirk back when she saw how Ryeowook's shoulders had sagged. Ryeowook was the one who had volunteered to make the announcement to the general public who were waiting outside for the news, and it was a fine moment indeed, when someone called Ryeowook a liar.

 

It was the beginning of Ryeowook's eventual downfall, and the collapse of Kyungsoo's friendship with Baekhyun, though Kyungsoo did not foresee the latter from happening.

 

When the examination had been completed and Kyungsoo was proved to be intact still, the bidding for hermizuage intensified further in the dying days leading up to the actual ceremony, and Kyungsoo was pleasantly surprised when Song Qian replaced the phone on the table with a smile, telling Kyungsoo that the highest bid for her mizuage had surpassed Song Qian's own one. A wealthy businessman by the name of Kim Minseok – one of Song Qian's previous patrons – was the one who had secured Kyungsoo's mizuage with 15,000 yen, effectively clearing off all of Kyungsoo's debts to the okiya, and Kyungsoo's nervousness dissipated with Song Qian's repeated assurance that Kim Minseok was a soft-spoken, mild man.

 

On the day of Kyungsoo's mizuage, she met Kim Minseok for the very first time at the Ichiriki Teahouse, during the simple tea ceremony that officiated him as the patron of Kyungsoo's mizuage. The ceremony was very much like the one which had bound Kyungsoo and Song Qian as sworn sisters, though something different stirred within Kyungsoo, knowing that this would take her life in a different turn. After tonight, she would unofficially be a full-fledged geisha until her collar-turning ceremony, and would be freed from her okiya at the same time.

 

It was the first of many nights to come, when Kyungsoo could dress in a simpler, lighter kimono, and for the night of her mizuage, Kyungsoo was dressed in a brilliant red kimono, its fabric a flowing silk that clung to Kyungsoo's frame in all the right places. She was allowed to have her hair free of styling and wax, leaving her long locks hanging down her back and touching her waist, the way Kyungsoo preferred it.

 

In fact, she looked so different that night, that Junmyeon was taken aback when he happened to pass her by in the hallways, when Kyungsoo was being brought to a different section of the teahouse where the guest rooms were situated at. Kyungsoo stopped in her steps, even though she knew she shouldn't be doing so, and gazed at Junmyeon with sadness in her eyes. Had Junmyeon been brave enough to bid against his father, he might have been the one who would be waiting for her in the room, not Minseok.

 

"Good evening, Junmyeon-san," she greeted, ignoring the dull ache in her chest which reminded her of the promise she had made with Junmyeon some months ago, of not being too formal with each other. Judging by the way Junmyeon's expressions fell ever so slightly, he remembered it, too.

 

"Good evening, Miss Kyungsoo. You look resplendent tonight. Is there a special event? I am not used to seeing you with your hair down and your clothes so simple." He smiled, and Kyungsoo hated that she could see it was forced. She yearned to reach out for him, to pick up where they had left off the other night, when there had obviously been many things yet left unsaid, but she exercised restraint and held herself back.

 

Instead, Kyungsoo dipped her body with a practised grace and lowered her gaze demurely. She was pleased to note how Junmyeon reflexively curled his fist, knowing that he, too, was trying hard to hold back. "I thank you, Junmyeon-san, and indeed, it is the night of my mizuage. I am on my way to meet my patron."

 

Junmyeon inhaled sharply at the information, and for once Kyungsoo was glad that the servants of the teahouse lingered ways off, allowing Kyungsoo and Junmyeon some privacy. The pain on his expressions was gone as soon as it had appeared, though Kyungsoo could be sure that she hadn't imagined it, for she had felt the same pain stabbing her through the chest when she'd informed him about her mizuage.

 

"I should congratulate you, Miss Kyungsoo, for you will earn your complete freedom after tonight." Somehow, his words carried a silent promise with them, but Kyungsoo shook her head inwardly, willing herself not to think about it, at least not for tonight. It would be unfair to Minseok.

 

Before either of them could say anything else, however, a maid came to inform them that they were running out of time, that Kyungsoo had best be in the room soon, and Junmyeon good-naturedly took a step back, bowing slightly at Kyungsoo and wishing her a good night. Even as they parted ways, Kyungsoo couldn't resist from looking over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of Junmyeon's retreating back, only to blush when their eyes met across the open space once again. Kyungsoo turned her gaze upon the path ahead of her after, staring resolutely at the floorboards for the rest of her way, trying to block the image of Junmyeon's smiling face out of her mind.

 

She was successful for a brief moment, when she stepped into the room prepared for her and Minseok and was mesmerised by its setup. A wider futon was laid out on the ground, with flower petals scattered across it and giving the room a mild floral scent, while multiple candles were placed upon a wooden table in the centre of the room, basking it in a warm, orange glow. The maids informed her that Minseok would join her soon, and she nodded distractedly, still taking in the sights of the room even as the doors slid shut behind her.

 

Kyungsoo jumped in surprise when someone placed a hand on her shoulder, and she turned around swiftly, somehow half-expecting it to be Junmyeon, only to feel mildly disappointed when Minseok's smiling face greeted her instead. He was by no means difficult to look at, but it simply wasn't enough for Kyungsoo – Minseok wasn't Junmyeon, and it hurt her to know what her heart wanted, yet there was no way she could have him.

 

"You are beautiful, Kyungsoo," Minseok said just then, pulling Kyungsoo out of her own thoughts when he ran his fingers through her long locks, making Kyungsoo shudder when the tips of his fingers brushed against the bare skin of her neck.

 

"Thank you, Minseok-san. Please, be gentle and patient with me tonight, for it is my first." Kyungsoo replied quietly, lowering her gaze and biting on her lip, knowing it could rile any man up.

 

Minseok was no exception, and he startled a gasp out of Kyungsoo when he lifted Kyungsoo's gaze with gentle fingers on her chin and planted a surprisingly tender kiss on the corner of her mouth. She subconsciously attempted to chase after his lips, wondering if kissing Minseok would stir the same feelings within her as when she had kissed Junmyeon, but again she was reminded cruelly of the fact that there was no one else she yearned for apart from Junmyeon, wanted him to be in the room with her right now, where all of their inhibitions could be thrown out of the window, and they could languidly explore each other's bodies.

 

The thoughts lingered on her mind even as Minseok kissed her neck and slid her kimono off her shoulders, even as he lowered her onto the futon, spreading her legs and settling himself in between. She was still thinking about Junmyeon when Minseok pushed himself into her, sending a sharp pain coursing through her nerve endings for a long while before the pleasure came, and she couldn't help but wonder if Junmyeon would be far gentler than this with her, if she would enjoy it more.

 

When Minseok finally reached his orgasm, coating Kyungsoo's insides with hot cum, the only thought that crossed Kyungsoo's mind was of her being hopelessly in love with Junmyeon.

  
  


\--

  
  


Life after she had turned her collar wasn't that different from when she was still a maiko, Kyungsoo discovered. She still attended many dinner parties with Song Qian, and many more alone, having been given the full freedom to do as she pleased, though what she hadn't been expecting was for her name to be included under the lineup for Gion's annual dance recital that year. Many geishas vied for a role on the recital every year, no matter how small, and geishas who managed to land one was the source of envy – and, oftentimes, vicious gossip that they had offered their bodies to the organisers of the recital in exchange for a role on the production. Kyungsoo was an unfortunate victim of such gossip this year, fuelled by her previous late-night encounter by Junmyeon.

 

Still, Kyungsoo ignored them to the best of her abilities, knowing that she had done nothing of the sort to land the role, focusing instead on perfecting the choreography for her role in the dance – of a woman who was having an internal turmoil, not knowing how should she address her feelings for a man she probably would never be able to have.

 

It was incredibly ironic, Kyungsoo thought to herself for the umpteenth time as she performed the dance before a strong audience of three hundred, how closely she could relate to the woman she was supposed to play. It was easy for Kyungsoo to get into the right sort of emotions, when she knew exactly how it felt to pine for someone out of her reach, and she channelled her frustrations and despair with poignant waves of her sleeves and graceful spins which represented her chaotic state of mind, before falling upon the ground, heaving and crying from the helplessness.

 

Her efforts were greeted with a thunderous applause, and Kyungsoo was still feeling light-headed when she left the stage to rest, the adrenaline finally bleeding out of her after her performance, though Kyungsoo was glad that she did not cry like she had during her first dance performance many nights ago.

 

It took Kyungsoo a while longer before she trusted herself enough to stand, just in time for her to watch Song Qian’s performance, but just as she was about to head backstage, she was surprised by the sight of both Junmyeon and Youngwoon waiting for her. The scene was amusing, if Kyungsoo could say so herself, when they both painted such a contrasting picture. Youngwoon was the epitome of awkwardness, as though he wasn’t sure if he should be there, tugging impatiently at his cufflinks from time to time, while Junmyeon was standing there serenely, a smile brightening up his features when he saw Kyungsoo approaching.

 

Wanting to appear impartial, Kyungsoo gathered her delight in seeing Junmyeon for the first time since the day of her mizuage and schooled it into a polite smile instead as she approached them. It would not do to show her obvious liking for Junmyeon in front of Youngwoon, considering that both men were acquainted, and if Kyungsoo showed any indication that she was interested in Junmyeon, she was worried that she might cause the friendship between both men to turn sour. It was the last thing she wanted to see happen.

 

"Good evening, General Kim, Junmyeon-san." She greeted politely when she finally arrived at where they were waiting for her. "What brings you gentlemen here, when you should be enjoying the rest of the recital in your seats out there?"

 

"Chairman Kim here thought it would be a good idea to congratulate you personally, before everyone else came to crowd you. So we came." Much to her surprise, Youngwoon was the one who spoke up first, even though she could see that Junmyeon had a lot of things to say to her. His eyes spoke of a thousand words, piercing and intent as they gazed at her.

 

Kyungsoo tore her attention away from Junmyeon with much reluctance, and regarded Youngwoon with surprise etched on her features. "Oh? You should not have done that. There are plenty of opportunities to extend your well-wishes, General Kim, but I humbly thank you for your kindness." She smiled, watching as Youngwoon's cheeks coloured a little. Kyungsoo tilted her head to the side; such a reaction from Youngwoon was new to her.

 

"You were brilliant during your performance," Junmyeon chimed in, and Kyungsoo barely managed to stop herself from inhaling sharply in surprise. She hadn't expected Junmyeon to say anything, as was his norm to remain silent whenever he had other companions with him. "General Kim had nothing but praises for your beauty and grace." He said again. The light dancing about in his eyes told Kyungsoo that he had the same sentiments, and Kyungsoo could not help but feel flustered by their acknowledgement.

 

"You are both too kind with your compliments. What am I to do with them?" Kyungsoo flushed red, embarrassed.

 

"Accept them proudly," Junmyeon chuckled, "for you are worthy of such praises. You should be kinder to yourself, Kyungsoo-san."

 

For a moment, all Kyungsoo could see was Junmyeon's kind smile, until Youngwoon cleared his throat impatiently, and she was reminded belatedly that Youngwoon was still with them. Judging by the way Junmyeon had jumped slightly from the sound, he had forgotten that they weren’t alone, too, and they quickly broke their gaze. Kyungsoo shuffled her feet awkwardly beneath her, thankful that the hem of her kimono that night was long enough to cover them from view.

 

"We should make haste in returning to our seats. I am loathe to miss the performance of the star of the night." Youngwoon told Junmyeon, and made no move to wait for him before he was storming out to the audience seats once again. Even in the dimness, Kyungsoo noticed the redness painting the tips of Youngwoon's ears, and she wondered if she’d angered him.

 

"Do not worry, he is merely embarrassed." Junmyeon told her quietly, and not for the first time, Kyungsoo felt as though he could read her thoughts with perfect clarity.

 

"I– I certainly hope so. I would hate for him to think that I favour you over him." Kyungsoo blurted without thinking, and she blushed hard when her words startled a laugh out of Junmyeon. She honestly wanted to bury herself in the ground and never see the light of day again.

 

"Do you not?" Junmyeon teased her, even though he probably knew the answer to his own question, and Kyungsoo held herself back from shoving at him. It was simply not the conduct of a lady, and certainly not for a geisha in her full get-up.

 

"Oh, I do wish you would stop teasing me!" Kyungsoo covered her face with her hands. The burn of her cheeks from embarrassment seared against her palms, and for once, she was thankful that her face had been painted stark white for her performance that night.

 

Junmyeon laughed again, softly this time, and cupped Kyungsoo's face with a warm hand. Kyungsoo swallowed in surprise. "It is good to see you doing well, Kyungsoo. I have missed you dearly."

 

Kyungsoo could only afford to blink at him, feeling at a loss at his openness. "I–" She stuttered a little, then, in a tiny voice, "I have missed you, too."

 

Just then, a servant – Youngwoon's, most probably – came to fetch Junmyeon, citing that his master was getting impatient at his prolonged absence. It was only then that Kyungsoo realised that Song Qian was already performing on stage, judging by the sounds of the shamisen and drums which were only too familiar to her ears, owing to hours on end spent on her part watching Song Qian's practices. Junmyeon had a sad smile when he turned back to regard Kyungsoo, and he picked at something he'd kept in the breast pocket of his coat, before pulling it out with a flourish.

 

Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow when she realised it was a letter, but Junmyeon was quick to speak up before she could even get a word in. "Only open this when you are back in the okiya. I do not wish for others to know of its existence." He told her mysteriously, and then he was gone.

  
  


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Kyungsoo's hair was pinned up in a simple bun that day, using another accessory which had been gifted to her by Youngwoon after the dance recital, and somehow, standing on the deck of the ferry she was on and having the wind whip strands of her hair out of its hold, Kyungsoo rather hoped to have some wax in her hair right now. There was no saying what sort of condition she was in now – if she looked presentable still or if she had been reduced to a complete wreck – and Kyungsoo could only hope for the best. She couldn't enter the cabins, for it was occupied by one of the guests whom Kyungsoo had last seen leading his geisha mistress into it, and Kyungsoo would rather not feel uncomfortable with the sort of sounds that’d be coming through the thin wooden walls of the cabins.

 

Then again, the breeze was refreshing, and it was the only thing keeping Kyungsoo from feeling miserable, apart from the breathtaking view of Lake Ashi they were currently sailing across. In his simple but very much treasured letter, Junmyeon had extended an invitation for her to come on a lake cruise with him on a ferry owned by his father's company, and had informed her to pack enough for a couple of days, that his driver would come pick her up at the okiya. What Kyungsoo didn’t expect was for Junmyeon to bring her across the legendary lake, and, as she thought about what it could possibly signify, a smile broke across her face.

 

"I hope you are enjoying the cruise," a voice suddenly spoke at her elbow, startling Kyungsoo. She turned around to find Junmyeon smiling at her, handsome as always with his hair slicked up and suit perfectly starched. "You did not seem too happy earlier, and if you are upset with me, I apologise for having dragged you all the way here without letting you know in advance."

 

"This is a beautiful surprise, truly. How could I possibly be upset?” Kyungsoo laughed a little. “I was merely annoyed with the breeze that is making me look like a witch, but thank you. This is a trip beyond my dreams."

 

To her surprise, Junmyeon reached forward and tucked some stray strands of hair behind Kyungsoo's ear, then cupped her face with a warm hand to keep them there. For as long as she had known Junmyeon, he would never pull such a bold move in plain sight – only when they were alone and hidden from view. From the corner of her eyes, Kyungsoo took notice of his other guests who were looking admiringly in their direction, and she couldn’t help the blush from spreading across her cheeks, giving them a darker shade on top of the rosy tint from the autumn cold earlier.

 

"I only wish to make your dreams come true, so I am glad." He said, and looked as though he was about to lean in to give Kyungsoo a peck on her forehead before he remembered where they were and caught himself in time. Instead, he cleared his throat in embarrassment, and guided Kyungsoo closer to the railing by her elbow. Kyungsoo could only follow him wordlessly, feeling her heart attempting to leap out of her throat.

 

"Do you see that red arch over there?" He asked, and Kyungsoo nodded after peering into the distance and successfully locating the structure Junmyeon was talking about. "It is the gateway to the Hakone Shrine, and we are about to arrive at our destination soon."

 

Kyungsoo turned a little to the side to regard Junmyeon. "And where exactly is that?"

 

"Hakone," Junmyeon answered simply, a smile on his face. "A beautiful town that you will surely love."

 

At that, Kyungsoo could feel her enthusiasm pick up further, and she didn't mind the wind much for the rest of their journey, opting instead to admire the view of Lake Ashi where the sprawling green laid spread out before their eyes, and the after-rain fog casting a mystic veil upon the lake.

 

It surely was breathtaking, even more so when Kyungsoo could feel Junmyeon's presence right next to her.

  
  


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Junmyeon was right when he said Kyungsoo would love Hakone. It was a quaint town, quiet enough for Kyungsoo's liking, unlike the bustling Kyoto where nothing and no one ever seemed to stop moving. Junmyeon took her and the rest of his acquaintances to an expensive-looking guesthouse, complete with a mixed hot spring, and it was as close to the definition of heaven as Kyungsoo could get to experience.

 

Hot springs were best enjoyed in the autumn and winter months, Kyungsoo was told, and since she never had the privilege to experience it before, she grasped the opportunity to slip into the hot spring by herself, with the moonlight shining bright above her. It was late into the night, a time when Kyungsoo was sure everyone else would rather be asleep than soaking themselves in a pool of hot water, and also the time when Kyungsoo could truly feel at ease. She still wasn’t comfortable with the idea of not being covered up when around others, especially men, which had earned her enough teasing from Junmyeon's friends, considering how she already had hermizuage ceremony. Thankfully, Junmyeon stood on her side, and helped her out of the awkward situation. For that, Kyungsoo was grateful.

 

Kyungsoo sighed contentedly when she dipped herself into the water, feeling her muscles relax in the heat. It was rare for them to get hot baths in the okiya, and this was definitely her chance to indulge herself. It was a shame she could not bring Baekhyun along, for Ryeowook would not allow it, and the other girl was busy preparing for her own mizuage ceremony, as well as her upcoming adoption by Mother once she had turned her collar. Baekhyun would’ve liked it here, Kyungsoo thought. She was always going on about hot springs and how she wanted to experience them.

 

"Do you mind if I joined you?" A voice suddenly spoke up from behind, causing Kyungsoo to jump a little before she scrambled for her washing towel, covering whatever she could. She flushed bright red when she realised it was Junmyeon.

 

"J–Junmyeon! What are you doing here?" She stammered, craning her neck to look at him. Inwardly, she felt thankful that he was still wearing his yukata, leaving their confrontation less awkward than it would’ve been if he were to have only a towel around his waist.

 

The tip of Kyungsoo's ears burned again when her mind wandered a little too far than was necessary.

 

"I couldn’t fall asleep, so I thought it would be a good idea to use the hot spring to relax a little. I did not expect to see you here." He smiled, and Kyungsoo's heart nearly leapt out of her throat. "If you mind my presence, though, I'll leave. I know you are uncomfortable with the idea of a mixed bath." Junmyeon said again and made to leave, but out of a moment's panic, Kyungsoo's hand shot out to grab Junmyeon by his ankle.

 

"Wait!" She called, then quickly released her grip when she realised what she was doing. Kyungsoo immediately turned away from Junmyeon to hide the telltale blush which was almost certainly too bright for it to be a flush from the heat of the hot spring. "You... you can stay if you want to."

 

Her voice was so incredibly small that for a moment, she wasn't sure if Junmyeon had heard her, but then Junmyeon expressed his sincere gratitude and washed away Kyungsoo's doubts. There was a rustle of clothes before it fell with a dull thud on the cobblestone path, and the sloshing of water when Junmyeon stepped into the hot spring with her, but Junmyeon, probably sensing her mild discomfort, was kind enough to take the far corner of the hot spring away from her.

 

"You know, I really should start getting used to seeing you in a simple kimono with your hair down," Junmyeon suddenly mused, causing Kyungsoo's head to snap up to look at him, curious.

 

"Why is that so?" She asked. Junmyeon still had that faint smile playing on his lips, one that made Kyungsoo want to discover what exactly was on his mind. It was intriguing.

 

"I thought you were beautiful in your elaborate get-ups when you were still a maiko, and I do not know if anyone thinks the same way as I do, but I feel you have grown to be even more beautiful with minimal makeup and simpler clothes." He said, and, almost as an afterthought, "It reminds me of the time when I had first seen you on that bridge."

 

Kyungsoo's heart stopped momentarily when he brought up the incident, the first time Junmyeon had ever done so voluntarily. She eyed him uncertainly, wondering if he was only doing so to catch her attention, but all she could see was sincerity in the way he looked at her, his emotions open and raw.

 

"Did I... really catch your attention back then?" She asked, unable to bring herself to believe in it. Kyungsoo thought of herself as a plain girl, and did not think she was as outstanding as the others make her out to be as a geisha, so it was difficult for her to believe that she would attract someone's attention even when she had been nothing more than a maid all those years ago. What made it even more unbelievable was the fact that she'd attracted the attention of Junmyeon, the future heir of the biggest ferry company in Japan.

 

Even now, she wondered if the heavens weren't playing a cruel practical joke on her. Her feelings for Junmyeon were already far too deep for her to pull herself out of it, and Kyungsoo knew she would definitely be devastated if everything turned out to be but a beautiful dream. Her heart ached at the thought.

 

"Yes," Junmyeon whispered, his gaze on her soft and tender. He began to make his way across the hot spring, his steps slow and steady, and Kyungsoo's pulse raced as the distance between them dwindled. She subconsciously moved towards Junmyeon as well, all desire to keep her modesty thrown out of the window. Something about Junmyeon told Kyungsoo that she could let all her inhibitions go, and allow herself to fall into his arms without the slightest of worries.

 

"I have searched for you for years since then, but I have never been successful. Until that night at Governor Park's mansion." He was standing before her by now, and Kyungsoo could feel the heat roiling around them, making her feel a little light-headed. Her heart jumped again when he cupped her face with a warm hand. "Did you know that you were the centre of attraction on that particular night? I have never wanted so badly to stand in the way, between you and the other men, to tell them that you are mine and mine alone."

 

Kyungsoo glanced up at him through her lashes, and pressed a little closer to him, feeling their naked skin come into contact. Somehow, she did not feel as embarrassed as she thought she would; in fact, she was bolder now, and considering that her mizuage was over, it meant that she could forget about having to keep her distance from Junmyeon. "Why did you not tell me this before?" She whispered back, closing her eyes in perfect bliss when one of Junmyeon's hands reached up to tuck her hair behind an ear, while the other slipped around her bare waist and rested lightly on her hips. "Have you any idea how long I have been waiting for you to notice me, how I have anguished thinking that I will never be good enough for you?"

 

She could feel Junmyeon's breaths fanning across her face when he spoke next. "I'm sorry. I did not want to mislead you before I was certain how I felt about you."

 

"Are you, now? For I am certain that I do not want anyone else but you to hold me like this." Kyungsoo whispered back, tilting her head upwards to look at Junmyeon. The light in Junmyeon's eyes was made up of mixed emotions, but Kyungsoo could see the certainty in them. What came out of his lips next made Kyungsoo feel that everything she had gone through in the past couple of years was more than worth it.

 

"I, too, do not want to see anyone else hold you like this," he said, and leaned in to catch Kyungsoo's lips with his.

 

Unlike their first kiss, however, this was a little more open-mouthed, a little more urgent. Perhaps it was because of the heat of the hot spring making their heads spin, perhaps it was because they were both already naked, but the lust and desire settled at the bottom of her stomach faster than she had expected it to. Shameless mewls and desperate whimpers were pried out of Kyungsoo's lips when Junmyeon pressed even closer to her, kissing a heated trail down her neck and on the swell of her breasts, and she could feel his erect cock pressing against her skin beneath the water.

 

Kyungsoo suddenly lost her balance and leaned against Junmyeon when she was overcome with a sense of lightheadedness, and Junmyeon's laughter was light when he caught hold of her. "It seems that we shouldn’t stay in the hot spring any longer, or we will both faint in here and drown." He said, and immediately helped Kyungsoo out of the hot spring. Kyungsoo blushed at the sight of Junmyeon's naked body, the lines of his well-defined abdomen, and quickly tried to wrap her arms around herself to cover her own body up, but Junmyeon was kind enough to wrap his previously discarded yukata around her instead.

 

"Wait here," he told her, before he disappeared into the men's changing room and reappeared with another yukata wrapped around himself. Junmyeon surprised her further when he scooped Kyungsoo into his arms, beaming down at her when Kyungsoo let out a gasp and wrapped her arms reflexively around his neck. "Don't worry, I will not let you fall."

 

Kyungsoo blushed, and shyly leaned up to give him a light peck on the lips. "I trust that you will not, Junmyeon, just as I have always believed in your promises."

 

Junmyeon smiled and deepened the kiss, leaving Kyungsoo feeling breathless but elated, before whisking her away into his room, which was thankfully situated further away from the rest of his guests.

  
  


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Kyungsoo was right when she felt that Junmyeon would handle her with exquisite tenderness. In fact, Junmyeon was so gentle with her as he lay her down on the futon that Kyungsoo had to hold him by the shoulders, squeezing him lightly and telling him that she wasn't a fragile doll, that she wouldn’t break so easily. Only then did Junmyeon smirk and pull himself up to meet Kyungsoo's lips in another kiss, mouth sliding over hers messily, urgently, his grip on her tightening further.

 

Kyungsoo decidedly loved the way Junmyeon held her in his arms, his warmth enveloping her body as he pulled her even closer, peppering butterfly kisses up her jaw and down her neck. Kyungsoo gasped in surprise when he untied the knot holding her yukata together before taking a pert nipple between his teeth, his other hand moving to caress her breast, and Kyungsoo gripped desperately onto his shoulders, arching her upper body up into him to get more contact between her skin and his hot lips.

 

When he was done laving at her other nipple, Junmyeon ran his hands up and down her sides as he began kissing another trail down her torso, stopping teasingly at the border of her neatly trimmed patch of hair. It drove Kyungsoo crazy, especially when she wanted nothing more but to have him fill her up with anything at all. Her skin was still extremely sensitive from the hot spring earlier, each touch of Junmyeon's making her nerve endings fire erratically, making her want to feel more of him against her.

 

"Oh, Junmyeon, please–" she gasped when Junmyeon pressed another kiss to the protrusion of her hips, her fingers digging into his shoulders once again. "Please, do not tease–"

 

Before she could say anything more, a loud whimper escaped her lips when Junmyeon dragged his tongue slowly across her clit, sending a jolt of electricity running through her body. The sensation was very much different from the time when Minseok had penetrated her – this was more exquisite, especially when Junmyeon's tongue felt hot against her sensitive clit, and she could feel each press of his tongue against her. Kyungsoo threw her head back and tangled her fingers in Junmyeon's hair when he entered her with his tongue, her mouth agape in pleasure. Each flick of his muscular organ in her made Kyungsoo scream his name, pleading for him to give her more, even though she knew she would usually be embarrassed to say such crude things to another man. After all, Kyungsoo was not a geisha who lured men in with lewd remarks, but rather with her skills at entertaining them and making them feel important without resorting to sexual fulfillment.

 

Kyungsoo didn’t know she could be made to feel this way, as though her body was threatening to combust from within when Junmyeon was touching her like this, and she definitely didn’t want him to stop. He seemed to know this, however, when she could feel him smirk against her skin. Kyungsoo whined when he pulled away, though she was silenced when Junmyeon pulled himself up and sealed her lips with a kiss. She reached up and cupped his face with her hands, deepening the kiss further, and she hummed when she could taste herself on his tongue.

 

They broke apart and gasped for air moments later, heated skin against heated skin, and Kyungsoo smiled as she pressed their foreheads together. Junmyeon mirrored that smile, his shoulders and chest heaving as he caught his breath.

 

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen," Junmyeon whispered against Kyungsoo's lips, and she couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped.

 

"And you love to coat your words with too much sweetness."

 

Junmyeon pulled away just then, and Kyungsoo was rendered breathless again by the intensity of his gaze. "It is the truest thought from my heart," he said it so earnestly that Kyungsoo couldn't doubt him even if she wanted to. She leaned into Junmyeon's touch when he caressed her cheek tenderly, her heart swelling with happiness and bliss. "I never want anyone to see you like this, to touch you like this ever again. I want you to be mine, and only mine."

 

Kyungsoo swallowed and forced the tears back, not wanting to be the one to ruin this moment. She couldn’t believe this was happening, that she was hearing those words right from Junmyeon's lips, and Kyungsoo had no idea how to convey how elated she was apart from kissing him full on the mouth, injecting it with as much love as she could. There was nothing more that Kyungsoo wanted, apart from letting Junmyeon know how long she had been waiting for this, that she loved him as much as he loved her, and she wasn't about to let this opportunity slip right out of her fingers.

 

Junmyeon responded in kind, and slowly lowered her onto the futon, before spreading her legs apart and settling himself between them. His yukata hung loosely over his shoulders, its knot undone, and Kyungsoo could see the sheen of sweat on his bare skin in the candlelight. He had that smile which Kyungsoo loved playing on his lips, so tender and so heartwarming that Kyungsoo couldn't help herself from pulling him down by the shoulders and kissing him again.

 

"Are you sure you want to push on with this?" Junmyeon asked breathlessly when they pulled apart moments later, his gaze on her gentle. His arms were still wrapped around her small frame, and Kyungsoo gripped his biceps, squeezing him gently as a silent reassurance that she didn't want him to leave.

 

"I have never been surer about this, Junmyeon." She whispered against his lips, closing her eyes in bliss. "I do want you. You are the only one I have ever wanted, ever since the time we have met."

 

Junmyeon pressed a kiss to her forehead at that, and Kyungsoo shuddered a little from the contact. She still couldn't believe that this was happening, and she desperately hoped that she wasn't merely dreaming. "I will be gentle with you." He said as he ran his hands down her sides slowly. "Tell me if you want me to stop."

 

Kyungsoo nodded slightly, sucking in a deep breath when Junmyeon guided his cock into her, filling her up to the hilt. He was slightly larger than Minseok, and the stretch needed a little more time to get used to, though Kyungsoo tightened her hold on Junmyeon when he tried to pull away after seeing her wince.

 

"No," she gasped, the pain slowly melting away into pleasure when she was finally getting used to his girth. "Don't."

 

Junmyeon seemed conflicted by her request, but relented in the end and stayed still to let Kyungsoo get accustomed to the feeling of having Junmyeon inside of her. Only when Kyungsoo began rocking her hips down against his did Junmyeon dare to move, thrusting into her at an agonisingly slow pace. It didn't take long for Kyungsoo to beg for Junmyeon to go faster, eager to get more friction, anything at all to make that burning ache in the pit of her stomach disappear.

 

Thankfully, Junmyeon wasn't much in the mood of teasing her, either, and Kyungsoo could see the way the perspiration rolled down the sides of his face as he fucked steadfastly into her, each thrust tearing a moan out of Kyungsoo's well-kissed lips. He moved to cover her body with his moments later, pushing her legs further apart and closer to her body to change the angle of his thrusts, and Kyungsoo scrabbled at his back when he leaned forward to lap at her breast, his tongue hot on her already-heated skin.

 

Kyungsoo's orgasm wracked through her body after several more thrusts in the form of a loud cry, with her body arching high off the futon, shaking uncontrollably as her nerve endings fired off continuously, Junmyeon's thumb having reached between their bodies and massaged at her clit. Her mind was clouded by lust, but she could still sense the way Junmyeon's hot cum covered her insides when he soon achieved his completion too, still sucking and biting on her nipple as he fucked into her erratically.

 

When Kyungsoo finally came down from her orgasm high, she reached up to cup Junmyeon's face with her small hands, kissing him deeply to express her happiness, for she was too spent to talk. She wrapped her legs around Junmyeon's waist and pulled him down onto the futon with her, not wanting him to pull out of her so soon, and Kyungsoo blushed furiously when Junmyeon eyed her with a knowing smile.

 

Instead of teasing her like she had expected him to, though, Junmyeon merely kissed her again and pressed their foreheads together, wrapping his arms around her to keep her in place.

 

"I love you, Kyungsoo," he murmured in between kisses moments later, and Kyungsoo felt as though there wasn't anything else in the world that she needed, apart from this very moment of being in Junmyeon's warm embrace.

  
  


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Good things do not last forever, and everything can change drastically overnight.

 

Kyungsoo learned of that fact a little too late, when she returned to Gion after spending several days with Junmyeon in Hakone and found that her life had suddenly taken a completely different turn.

 

"I have decided to adopt you."

 

It was the first thing Mother had said to her, the moment Kyungsoo stepped into the okiya with her luggage in tow, and Kyungsoo was momentarily frozen in her steps, feeling the blood in her veins run colder when she caught sight of Baekhyun standing behind Mother, a horrified expression on her usually beautiful face. "You are going to inherit this okiya, along with all of its kimonos when I die."

 

Except, this wasn't supposed to happen. Kyungsoo was so sure Baekhyun was going to be adopted by Mother – it was everything Baekhyun had wished for, had been working hard for, just to secure a decent future for herself, and had relented to have her mizuage early for this very purpose.

 

"But Mother–" Kyungsoo managed to croak through her shock. "I thought you were going to adopt Baekhyun instead–"

 

Mother cut her off with a raised hand. "General Kim has made an official proposal to be your danna this morning. I see no better candidate to inherit the okiya than you, for he is a very influential man and will help the okiya a lot, especially in the current situation. I am sure you know how increasingly difficult it is for us to receive supplies, now that the war situation is worsening."

 

At this, Kyungsoo shot a pleading look at Baekhyun, trying to convince her silently that this wasn't what she wanted, but Baekhyun merely flashed a shaky smile and drew in a shuddering breath. "I am happy for you, Kyungsoo. You will be a much better heir for the okiya than I will ever be." She said unconvincingly, and then she was dashing up the stairs past a fuming Ryeowook who’d apparently heard everything from her room.

 

Kyungsoo did not hang around to hear out Ryeowook's protests to Mother for suddenly deciding to name Kyungsoo as the heir instead of Baekhyun as she had previously promised, anxious to sort out the situation with Baekhyun. There was sadness and betrayal in Baekhyun's eyes earlier, and Kyungsoo really didn't want her to misunderstand. She had never planned for this to happen, even if Song Qian had made it part of her plans; all Kyungsoo had wanted to do was to free herself from the okiya, and to work on as a geisha with absolutely nothing to tie her down.

 

When she had arrived at the top flight of stairs, however, Kyungsoo found herself staring at the sight of shut doors to Baekhyun's room, while Kyungsoo's new room had already been prepared while she was away, her belongings already put in place. She tried to slide the doors to Baekhyun's room open, only to find that Baekhyun had locked it up.

 

Sighing, Kyungsoo rapped lightly on the wood. "Baekhyun? Can we talk? Please?"

 

All Baekhyun said was, "I'm happy for you, Kyungsoo. I really am. But can you please leave me alone now?"

 

Kyungsoo had no choice but to agree, even though she was sad that their conversation had ended before it truly even began. Dejected by the knowledge that Baekhyun was ignoring her and exhausted from her trip, Kyungsoo dragged herself back into her new room, with the sounds of Ryeowook's angry yelling fading to nothing more than mere background noise. She could only hope that Mother would change her mind, and turn down Youngwoon's offer of becoming Kyungsoo's danna, as well as to name Baekhyun as her heir, like things were supposed to be.

  
  


\--

  
  


Kyungsoo's efforts at avoiding Youngwoon was for naught, for when Song Qian had found out about his proposal to be Kyungsoo's danna, she dragged Kyungsoo to the dinner party they were both invited to, of which Kyungsoo had intended to skip.

 

"General Kim is a very favourable ally to make–" Song Qian had told her as she watched Zhou Mi dress Kyungsoo up in a simple, pale blue silk kimono which clung to her body and accentuated her figure nicely earlier in the evening. "–especially when the war situation is escalating. Many a geisha hope for the opportunity to be acquainted with him, yet you are the only one lucky enough to have won his attention."

 

I'd rather not be in his favour, if it meant keeping my friendship with Baekhyun and being able to stay by Junmyeon’s side, Kyungsoo wanted to say, as she thought about the night of passion she had shared with Junmyeon a week ago, and the way he had said he loved her, but Kyungsoo wisely decided against it in the end. Song Qian would probably chastise her for choosing Junmyeon over Youngwoon, when it was becoming increasingly obvious that Youngwoon was the only one who could confidently ensure her survival if the war did come to Kyoto. She opted not to say a thing about it.

 

It was awkward, when she arrived at the dinner party and was met with the sight of Youngwoon and Junmyeon seated next to each other. Both men looked up at the same time with equally brilliant smiles on their faces, genuinely happy to see Kyungsoo there, and Kyungsoo felt a pang of guilt strike at her chest. She was sorely tempted to take her place next to Junmyeon – he was even shifting a little to allow her some space – but Kyungsoo found herself circling around the table and walking towards Youngwoon instead when Song Qian nudged her lightly in the back.

 

Junmyeon seemed to have caught the apologetic look in her eyes and the elatedness radiating off Youngwoon’s being, and came to a conclusion that something wasn’t right. His smile fell a little soon after, his posture becoming stiffer, and he turned his back on Youngwoon and Kyungsoo to speak to the bearded man who was seated next to him instead. Kyungsoo had never wanted to embrace Junmyeon any more than she did now.

 

Instead, she held all of it in and settled herself beside Youngwoon with much reluctance, forcing herself to smile as though she was delighted to see him too. Kyungsoo angled herself in such a way that she could see a part of Junmyeon at all times; it was all she could do for now, to placate her heart which yearned for him.

 

“Good evening, General Kim. You seem to be in a very good mood today.” She greeted, and caught Junmyeon stiffening again from the corner of her eye. Even through the din of the guests’ chatter that night, she could hear the hardness around the edges of Junmyeon’s voice, something very uncharacteristic of the man. She had always known him to be a soft-spoken person, his words always smooth and gentle and pleasing to the ear. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but selfishly wonder what was going through his mind at this very particular moment, if his self-restraint would shatter, if he’d announce to the room that Kyungsoo was his.

 

Kyungsoo didn’t have the courage to place high hopes in it happening, however. She knew how Junmyeon carried himself with utmost dignity during social gatherings, and decorum prohibited him from doing as such. Somehow, the thought that he would not do anything hurt her more than it should; she was supposed to be prepared for this.

 

As much as she hated to admit it, Youngwoon’s voice served as a timely distraction from her progressively depressing thoughts. “Why, of course! I am happy to see you well. Song Qian tells me you have been ill.” Youngwoon replied her, and it was Kyungsoo’s turn to stiffen at the lie Song Qian must’ve told to conceal the real reason behind Kyungsoo’s continuous absence from Youngwoon’s dinner parties.  
  


 

Of course, Junmyeon did not know of the reason either, and Kyungsoo swallowed guiltily when she met Junmyeon’s concerned gaze over Youngwoon’s shoulder. You were unwell? Why did you not tell me? was the silent message Junmyeon was trying to convey through the way he was eyeing her, but Kyungsoo didn’t know how she should explain the situation to Junmyeon without the use of words.  
  


 

“Well, I–” Kyungsoo began, quickly averting her gaze from Junmyeon. “I thank you for your concern, General, but I’m afraid I am still feeling a little under the weather these days. The change in seasons is always harsh on the body.” She said instead, continuing on with Song Qian’s lie in order to buy her an excuse to skip out on further gatherings. Junmyeon’s eyes were still on her, and she frankly found it disconcerting.   
  


 

“You should take better care of yourself, Kyungsoo.” Youngwoon said, his tone mildly disapproving, but there was a new sense of gentleness underlying his words, something which Kyungsoo frankly wasn’t quite used to hearing where Youngwoon was concerned, and she wished she hadn’t noticed it at all. Youngwoon had always been a gruff man, made a lot more uptight by the military training he had been through.  
  


 

Apparently, Kyungsoo wasn’t the only person who had noticed it, for Kyuhyun had a teasing smile on his face as he strode over to their table with a glowing Song Qian in tow. “You have indeed mellowed down a lot, my dear General Kim. I must commend Miss Kyungsoo for accomplishing such an impossible feat.”  
  


 

“Imagine this: General Kim, who has never liked being seen with a geisha, is actually making an official proposal to be a geisha’s danna.” Song Qian supplemented, and Kyungsoo suddenly felt extremely sick to the stomach. She hadn’t wanted to bring up the subject when Junmyeon was seated so close to her, hadn’t wanted Youngwoon to find out that she knew all about it, but it was too late for her to ask of Song Qian not to speak of the matter. The cat was already out of the bag.  
  


 

Kyungsoo paled further moments later, not because of the flush on Youngwoon’s face, but because of the way Junmyeon had knocked over his cup of sake in his haste to stand up from the tatami. His actions earned everyone else’s attentions, too, but he was extremely calm as he said, “I’m sorry, but I seem to be feeling under the weather myself. Please excuse me.”  
  


 

He left the room before anyone could even say a word to him, and Kyungsoo dug her nails into her palm as she watched Junmyeon slide the door shut behind him. It took no more than ten seconds for her to make up her mind, however, and Kyungsoo was already running after Junmyeon, ignoring the way Song Qian was gawking at her incredulously, and the shouts from the rest for her to wait.  
  
  


 

 

\--  
  
  


 

 

It was no easy feat for her to run in her zori, but thankfully, Junmyeon hadn’t been too far gone by the time Kyungsoo managed to locate him. Evidently, Junmyeon wasn’t expecting for anyone to chase after him, for he had a look of genuine surprise when Kyungsoo caught him by his arm, holding him in place.  
  


 

“Kyungsoo? What are you doing out here?” Junmyeon asked, bewildered, but he still held on to Kyungsoo’s shoulders to support her while she caught her breath. “Are you not supposed to be at the party still?”  
  


 

Kyungsoo’s gaze cut up to look at him, and he did seem a little taken aback by the intensity of it. “I do not find the enjoyment in lingering at the teahouse, entertaining other men, when the only man I have ever come to want and love has left.” She said boldly, not even bothering to lower her voice as she confronted Junmyeon on the streets. She didn’t care even if the whole of Gion came to know about her love for Junmyeon – it was probably all too obvious from the way she always looked at him, anyway.  
  


 

Much to her disappointment and immense frustration, however, Junmyeon quickly released his hold on her the moment the words left her lips. He seemed torn between wanting to turn around and walk away, or to stay right there with her. Kyungsoo sincerely hoped it was the latter.  
  


 

“You should not say such things, Kyungsoo.” Junmyeon finally sighed after a pregnant pause, his eyes not quite meeting hers this time. “You are about to get a danna. It would be unsightly for you to be seen with another man that isn’t Youngwoon.”  
  


 

Kyungsoo frowned. “What of it?” She challenged, refusing to back down. “A danna is not a husband, and I have no qualms about letting everyone know that you are the only person I want!”  
  


 

Again, Junmyeon looked conflicted. There was a hint of happiness on his expressions which had disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, and Kyungsoo didn’t know if it was merely a figment of her imagination. Another long pause ensued, and when Junmyeon finally spoke up again, there was nothing but latent anger radiating off him. “Youngwoon is a good friend of mine, Kyungsoo! What do you expect me to do under these circumstances?!”  
  


 

Peculiarly, Kyungsoo could not decide if he was angry with her, or with himself. It felt as though he was punishing himself somehow, yet Kyungsoo did not dare convince herself of the fact, and that, in turn, fuelled her own frustrations further. “Are you really that sort of person who places your friends above your own happiness, Kim Junmyeon? Stop lying to yourself!”  
  


 

This time, Kyungsoo touched a raw nerve in Junmyeon, causing him to back her up against a wall and trapping her there with his arms on either side of her head. The way Junmyeon looked down at her, his eyes hard with an undecipherable emotion, made Kyungsoo’s heart thunder against her chest. It aroused her more than it probably should.  
  


 

“So what if I am indeed lying to myself?” Junmyeon told her this in such a quiet voice, Kyungsoo had to strain her ears to hear him, even if there wasn’t much of a distance separating them both to begin with. “Do you have any idea how indebted I am to Youngwoon, for he has helped my father’s company in so many ways? He is the sole reason why we could be this successful, Kyungsoo, so pray tell, what sort of person would I be to take the only woman he has ever set his eyes upon away from him?” He said again, and this time, Kyungsoo could clearly sense the despair attempting to swallow Junmyeon up, as he tried to fight against his desires.  
  


 

Yet, Kyungsoo refused to give up. Junmyeon was the one who taught her to chase after her dreams, and she wasn’t about to allow him to let go of his own. “Then, pray tell, do I not have a say in whom I should be with? I am my own person, Junmyeon. I have my own desires, my wants. If you do indeed love me as you have claimed, should you not grant me the freedom to choose?”  
  


 

Her words seemed to have sparked something within Junmyeon, and Kyungsoo was taken by surprise when he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers, the tips of their noses brushing. “I have never wanted anyone more than I want you, Kyungsoo–” he said, his tone soft and gentle now, and Kyungsoo’s heart clenched at how broken Junmyeon sounded. “–but above that, I want you to be happy, even if I cannot be by your side to witness your happiness.”  
  


 

“Then–“ Kyungsoo started, feeling a little brave as she slid her hands up Junmyeon’s chest, sensing the way he shuddered at her touch, his breath hitching. “–let me be the selfish one in your stead. I only ask of you to stand still.” She continued quietly, digging the tips of her fingers into Junmyeon’s shirt.  
  


 

Before Junmyeon could even ask her what she was up to, Kyungsoo had already tilted her head upwards and claimed Junmyeon’s lips with a kiss, slow and chaste yet desperate at the same time. She may still be young, but Kyungsoo knew that she should be holding on tightly to Junmyeon, for he was the only person who could ever make her feel this way – that he was the only one who could ever truly give her the happiness she had been craving for. Try as Kyungsoo may to get over him, she didn’t think anyone could ever come close to catching her attention as Junmyeon had.  
  


 

The kiss did not last long, however, for when Junmyeon was finally giving in to what his heart truly wanted, another familiar voice cut sharply into their consciousness, causing both Kyungsoo and Junmyeon to let out a startled gasp and jump away from each other, breaking the kiss.  
  


 

“So this is how it is, is it?” Youngwoon growled lowly, and Kyungsoo’s heart fell into the pit of her stomach when she sensed how livid he was. She could see the way his face was flushed, the way his body was trembling from the contained anger, and she could not help but feel the guilt eating at her.  
  


 

How much of their conversation did Youngwoon hear?  
  


 

“General Kim, I–”  
  


 

Youngwoon cut her off brusquely. “Is that why you have been intentionally rejecting my invitations, under the pretence that you were ill?” He asked, taking one small step at a time, inching closer and closer to where Junmyeon and Kyungsoo were standing. Instinct made Kyungsoo want to cower behind Junmyeon, yet she knew that by doing so, she would anger Youngwoon further. She had no choice but to stand her ground, steeling herself in the face of Youngwoon’s impending fury.  
  


 

“While it is true that I have made myself scarce at dinner parties, I have not told any lies. I have never asked of my sister to do so, either.” Kyungsoo replied, tone so eerily calm that it scared even herself.  
  


 

“I have showered you with nothing but kindness and generosity! Is this how you repay me? By seeking his affections and turning a blind eye on mine?!” Youngwoon roared, and Kyungsoo let out a startled gasp in response.  
  


 

To her surprise, however, Junmyeon took a step forward and shielded her from Youngwoon’s view, and Kyungsoo could not help that swell of happiness from blooming within her. “There is no need for such harsh words, Youngwoon,” he said, an undertone of warning in his words.  
  


 

“You stay out of this, Junmyeon.” Youngwoon jabbed a finger furiously in Junmyeon’s direction, dismissing him. “I will deal with you later. Do not forget what I have done for you.”  
  


 

Junmyeon narrowed his eyes at Youngwoon at this. “I would never, even for a second, dare forget your kindness–” he replied, voice low. “–but do not use this as a leverage against me. Not when Kyungsoo is concerned.”  
  


 

Youngwoon took a step back when those words had left Junmyeon’s lips, appearing as though he had been physically punched in the face. If it were even possible, Youngwoon’s face was a deeper shade of red now from the pent-up anger, almost bordering on purple, and for a moment, Kyungsoo was afraid that a fight would break out between these two men. Youngwoon looked as though he was about to pummel Junmyeon to the ground, and while Kyungsoo trusted in Junmyeon unconditionally, it was obvious who would win the fight. After all, Youngwoon had the upper hand, owing to his military training and his heavier muscle bulk.  
  


 

Kyungsoo had to resist from heaving a sigh of relief when Youngwoon dropped his hand by his side in the end. The anger was still palpable in the air around them, but at least Kyungsoo knew Youngwoon wouldn’t be taking any drastic form of action for now. The words which left his mouth moments later did successfully leave a very deep-seated guilt within Kyungsoo, however – a guilt she didn’t think she would be able to live down any time soon.  
  


 

“After everything I have done for you, and all the attention I have showered upon you, this is how you repay me, by trying to run away from me and pretending you have never even heard of my request to be your danna.” Youngwoon let out an incredulous bark of laughter as he said that, driving another invisible wedge into Kyungsoo’s heart and weighing further upon her guilty conscience.  
  


 

Kyungsoo would have been more appreciative of his attention, and would’ve been more than delighted to have had Youngwoon as her danna, but this was the cruel side of life. Had she not met Junmyeon before Youngwoon, this confrontation would probably not have taken place at all, and Kyungsoo would probably be serving Youngwoon sake still in the teahouse, thanking him for his tireless patronage.  
  


 

Instead, all she could do was to whisper I’m sorry, before she was met with Youngwoon’s retreating back. There was undoubtedly a sense of loss growing within her, mourning for the ruined relationship that was never meant to be. Kyungsoo could only hope that Youngwoon would continue to live on well, and to forget that she had ever existed in his life. It was for the best, she tried to convince herself.  
  


 

“This is the very reason why I had tried to leave when I heard that Youngwoon wanted to be your danna.” Junmyeon spoke up quietly then, and when Kyungsoo raised her gaze to look in his direction, she realised that he had his back turned towards her, too. The panic alarm immediately sounded in her head. She knew exactly where this was going, yet she didn’t want to hear the words.

 

No, stop, she tried to tell Junmyeon, but the dull ache in her chest had rendered her completely speechless.

 

“It is not easy for him to love another, but you have managed to tear down the walls he has built up around him and cause him to make such a bold decision to be your danna, even if there is an impending war. Do you understand now, how much you mean to him?”  
  


 

“And you would rather give up your own happiness – my happiness – to fulfil his wishes?” Kyungsoo questioned, her voice calm despite the storm raging in her mind. “Have you ever thought that I deserve to fight for my own happiness, too?”  
  


 

Junmyeon turned to look at her just then, and the smile on his lips was so hauntingly heartbreaking, Kyungsoo had to dig her nails into her own palms to stop herself from crying. She refused to show weakness – not now, not when Junmyeon was trying to tell her that he was letting her go.  
  


 

“I have never wanted you to be caught between the both of us, Kyungsoo. I cannot help but feel that I have betrayed a good friend’s trust, and in that process, I have caused hurt to you, too.” The lines of his body told Kyungsoo that he yearned to close the distance between them, yet he was punishing himself by not making a move. “Perhaps–” A pause as he swallowed. “–we should not see each other until we are truly certain about what we want, and if the guilt will not prevent us from taking another step forward. If fate permits, only then will I be with you again.”

 

“In Hakone–” Kyungsoo started again, earning Junmyeon’s undivided attention at the reminder. “–you told me that you wanted me to be yours and yours alone, that you didn’t want anyone else to touch me in the way you did. Was that all a lie?”

 

Junmyeon seemed to want to say something about it, lips parting slightly in the beginnings of a sentence, but just as Kyungsoo hoped he would speak up, he pressed his lips into a thin line again and turned away.

 

She swore she could hear her heart break when Junmyeon whispered, “I’m sorry.”

 

This time, Kyungsoo was the one who had to stop herself from making a move, when Junmyeon began walking away from her. She was desperate to keep him, that much was true, but her pride forbade her from acting on that desperation.  
  


 

Kyungsoo turned in the opposite direction once Junmyeon was out of sight, numbly walking herself back to the okiya as she mulled over that night’s incident. There was a quote which came to mind just then, jarring compared to the rest of her thoughts. It had been told to her by Song Qian all those nights ago, when Kyungsoo had been nothing but a maiko trying to find her footing in the world.  
  


 

“Love is a luxury in the life of a geisha; many die without ever being with the person they truly love,” Song Qian had said, and Kyungsoo wondered belatedly, why she had never taken the advice to heart.  
  


 

Unfortunately, no amount of tears was able to change the course of reality.  
  
  


 

 

\--  
  
  


 

 

Kyungsoo spent the next week brooding in the confines of her room, mulling and thinking over her relationship with Junmyeon and Youngwoon. Save for Ryeowook, everyone else in the household grew concerned about her, including Baekhyun who had been avoiding her ever since they had both found out Mother was going to adopt Kyungsoo. There wasn’t much they could do to coax her out of the room, apart from mealtimes where Kyungsoo would spend eating in silence and avoiding everyone’s gazes instead.

 

Eventually, they gave up trying to get the story out of Kyungsoo, and let her be.

 

Song Qian sent her letters through her maid too, inviting Kyungsoo to come along for this dinner party and that, though Kyungsoo knew it was only an excuse used by her mentor to see her. She must’ve heard how upset Youngwoon was with her, and was trying to get her to patch things up with her danna proposer. The wordings of each letter grew more desperate by the syllable, but Kyungsoo felt such an irrational, deep-seated resentment for Song Qian that she could not be bothered to care.

 

Instead, each letter ended up in the furnace, with Kyungsoo watching intently as paper was reduced to ashes. Somehow, to Kyungsoo, it felt as though her hopes and dreams were being engulfed by the raging flames of reality.

 

By now, Kyungsoo was too numbed to even cry.

  
  


\--

  
  


“Soo?”

 

There was a light rap and a soft call outside her door, causing Kyungsoo to stir from her daze. She had been thinking about Junmyeon as she always did, the hollowness in her chest never really fading, and she wondered exactly how long had it been since she’d last seen Junmyeon. The ache gnawing at her only steadily grew stronger day after passing day, instead of waning away as she had thought it would.

 

Perhaps she wasn’t as strong as Junmyeon had described her to be, after all.

 

“Soo,” the call came again, and this time Kyungsoo shut out her inner thoughts and attempted to keep her focus on the guest at her door. “Soo, I know you’re in there, and I know I might not have the right to ask this of you, but– Can we talk? Please?”

 

It was Baekhyun, though happiness melted into resentment and anger when Kyungsoo thought about how her friend had refused to listen to her when she had tried to explain herself several weeks ago. She had always yearned to talk to Baekhyun since then, only to be met with averted eyes and a cold shoulder. Kyungsoo couldn’t even begin counting the times she had felt disappointed to be ignored by the only person she could trust in under this roof.

 

Without even getting off her futon, Kyungsoo called out, “Why should I talk to you, when you have denied the same request of mine in the past?” She didn’t care if she sounded bitter, or childish. She merely wanted to be left alone to live in her memories, however brief they may be.

 

“I know,” Baekhyun replied, her voice sounding oddly meek now. “I know, and I’m sorry, Soo. It’s just that I was upset and–” A long pause, the sound of Baekhyun scuffing her toes against wood. “–and I truly am worried about you. Please, Kyungsoo. Let me make it up to you.”

 

Kyungsoo chewed on her bottom lip for a moment when she heard the sincerity in Baekhyun’s voice, then peeled the covers off her and crossed the small distance from her futon to the door, only to stop and press her palms to the door when she remembered something. “What about Ryeowook? She will beat you up if she finds out we have been talking.”

 

“She has left the okiya. For good.” Baekhyun’s voice was quivering so much as she said this, Kyungsoo couldn’t be certain if she were happy or upset. Ryeowook gave Baekhyun a lot of hell, Kyungsoo was sure, but as begrudgingly as she would like to admit, she knew Ryeowook had been a good mentor Baekhyun at the same time. Baekhyun had managed to carve a decent name for herself with her lovely singing voice thanks to Ryeowook’s praises, after all.

 

In the end, Kyungsoo sighed and relented, sliding the door open for Baekhyun. A gasp was startled out of her cracked lips when Baekhyun attacked her with a hug, causing her to stumble backwards, but ultimately, Kyungsoo did not push Baekhyun away, opting instead to envelop her with a tight embrace. She hadn’t realised how much she missed having another person’s warmth so close to her skin, and she subconsciously tightened her hold around Baekhyun, burying her face in the crook of Baekhyun’s neck.

 

“Oh, Soo, you have lost so much weight!” Baekhyun cried out, probably able to feel the way Kyungsoo’s ribs were pressing against her flesh. “What has caused you to be this way?”

 

Kyungsoo wryly broke the embrace, and slid the door shut behind her. “It’s a long story,” she finally sighed, keeping her voice quiet. It would not do for anyone else to hear it, especially not Mother. “What happened to Ryeowook? Why the sudden leave?”

 

Baekhyun swallowed hard, as though trying to put a rein on her emotions, and exhaled softly. “Mother caught her with Jongwoon, and kicked her out of the okiya for being a disgrace.” She said, her eyes brimming with tears. “Oh, Kyungsoo, I don’t know if I should be delighted or upset that she is gone.”

 

Kyungsoo hugged her briefly again before pulling Baekhyun along to her futon. “Be sad, for you have lost a mentor, but be happy at the same time, for you have found your freedom.”

 

Baekhyun managed a smile at Kyungsoo, before cupping Kyungsoo’s face tenderly, looking at her with sadness in her eyes. “And you, what is your story, Soo? You seem so sad these days, it is difficult to watch you.”

 

Kyungsoo shifted a little in her position, casting her gaze upon the moonlit streets of the Gion hanamachi outside. There were so many things she wanted to tell Baekhyun, yet nothing at the same time, and she was truly conflicted by it. After giving it some consideration, however, Kyungsoo finally sighed again and lowered her eyes to the cold hard ground. “Have you ever truly loved someone, Baekhyun?”

 

"I–" Baekhyun started, then: "–yes, but he is a married man." This statement startled Kyungsoo so much that she whipped around to regard Baekhyun, only to find the other girl blushing in the candlelight. As though sensing the lingering question on Kyungsoo's mind, Baekhyun explained herself further. "He is one of my patrons, Kim Jongin, and oh, Kyungsoo, he is so awfully kind to me."

 

"But he is married," Kyungsoo said, hearing the pause after Baekhyun's sentence, and Baekhyun nodded meekly.

 

"It is the only reason why I am not pursuing him. I do not wish to destroy a happy family." Baekhyun lamented. “He has no choice but to attend these dinner parties, for his employer insists on his presence. I can only content myself with admiring him from afar.”

 

“I wish I could be like you, but my heart is greedy. It craves for more than just a simple look.” admitted Kyungsoo, her hand reaching into her underrobe and retrieving the handkerchief Junmyeon had left her all those years ago. Her gaze upon it was longing, and Baekhyun seemed to have noticed it, for she cupped Kyungsoo’s hand with her smooth, beautiful ones.

 

“This man… it’s Kim Junmyeon, is it not?” Baekhyun asked quietly, and once again, Kyungsoo was surprised by how perceptive the girl was that she was momentarily left speechless.

 

“How did you–”

 

“I have seen you together on the streets before.” Baekhyun explained. “Now it makes complete sense why you looked so happy and so in love back then.”

 

Kyungsoo was choked up with emotions at this point of time, and her hands trembled from her attempts at stopping herself from crying. She tilted her head backwards and focused her gaze on the wooden beams which held the roof up, barely managing to keep the tears at bay. Why was this so difficult? “But what is the use of being in love, when he refuses to be with me because he feels he owes General Kim his life?”

 

“I can see that you love each other a lot, Soo.” Baekhyun said, pulling Kyungsoo into her arms and caressing her back gently. “And it is not like you to give up so easily. You are a fighter – you always have been.”

 

“What else can I do, apart from giving up? He has made it clear that he does not want to cross General Kim by being with me.” Kyungsoo lamented, hugging Baekhyun back tightly and whispering into her hair. Her chest tightened again from the mere thought of it, and she struggled not to cry.

 

“Are you content with giving up, then?” Baekhyun asked, and Kyungsoo could hear the hint of challenge in her words. “Will you live happily several years down the road, knowing that you did not pursue what you could have pursued?”

 

Kyungsoo instantly knew her answers to those questions. No, she would not be content with giving up. She would not live happily, even if she might eventually forget about Junmyeon, and that in itself might take several years, decades, a lifetime to accomplish. She had never loved anyone more than she loved Junmyeon, and she didn't think she wanted to, either. There were just too many memories associated with him, and without even knowing it, Kyungsoo's life had actually been revolving with Junmyeon as its axis.

 

She didn’t realise she’d said it all aloud, until she raised her gaze to answer Baekhyun and found the other girl smiling at her knowingly. Kyungsoo quickly slapped a hand to her own mouth, horrified. Those were meant to be kept to herself, but it was now all out in the open.

 

Thankfully, Baekhyun wasn’t one to tease Kyungsoo. Instead, the other girl squeezed Kyungsoo’s shoulders in a silent encouragement. “You already have the answers to your doubts, Soo. It’s time to act upon them.”

 

Kyungsoo’s lips quivered a little at Baekhyun’s heartfelt gesture, and nodded firmly in response. Baekhyun was right. She was going to fix things by herself. Life was much too short to be lived with regrets.

  
  


\--

  
  


Except, Kyungsoo learned a little too late, that even a short moment's indecision could turn her life in a completely different direction.

 

On the morning after her talk with Baekhyun, Kyungsoo rose early to get herself groomed to her usual prim state – a long process in itself, considering the amount of time she'd spent brooding in her room and left her outer appearance in a state of utter neglect. If she had to admit, it felt good to be able to walk on the streets while donning a kimono once again, with her head held high and dignified, the way it should be. It reminded her of the day she had sauntered down the streets of Gion decked in a maiko's outfit for the first time, of her red kimono which represented her fiery determination to succeed.

 

This time, though, it was for a different cause. She wanted Junmyeon to know that Do Kyungsoo was not about to let him walk out of her life without her having done something about it.

 

She slowed in her steps when she caught sight of a crowd having formed in front of a shop selling electrical appliances on her way to Junmyeon's residence, however, her ever-present curiosity getting the better of her. Kyungsoo recognised several of the stricken faces in the crowd – her geisha acquaintances, sans the customary white face paint she had grown so accustomed to seeing by now – and a feeling of dread overwhelmed Kyungsoo. Her fellow geisha rarely ever walked out of their okiya without any makeup on, and for them to be seen in public eye like this… something didn’t feel quite right to Kyungsoo.

 

With slow, hesitant steps, Kyungsoo neared the crowd, cocking her ears to hear for herself what they were listening to. It was a common sight for them back in those days, to congregate before the electrical appliances store and listen to the news on the radio, as very rarely could a family or an okiya afford to furnish their home with one.

 

Kyungsoo wished she hadn’t done that, for what greeted her was the news of Youngwoon’s capture by the American army. Her heart stopped beating for a long moment, unable to wrap her mind around the information – she hadn’t even known that Youngwoon was headed for war. From the nervous chatter of the people around her, though, it seemed as though his visit to the Ichiriki Teahouse several weeks ago was his last before being deployed into the battlefield, and Kyungsoo felt even more sorry for not having made it a memorable one for him.

 

Instead, she’d broken his heart and left him anguished on that very night.

 

Kyungsoo smothered her mouth with a hand, suddenly feeling extremely sick to the stomach, when she listened further to the news and found out that the war was coming to Japan. Even during the earlier times of war, Japan had been in a relative state of peace, for the fighting occurred away from the nation. But now–

 

A soft scream was startled out of Kyungsoo when someone suddenly grabbed her by the elbow, though before she could alarm the rest of the crowd, someone had already covered her mouth and dragged her away. Her heart stopped for the second time that morning when she whipped around to find Junmyeon staring back at her, and her mouth went decidedly dry at the mere sight of him.

 

“Junmyeon–” Kyungsoo began, only to be silenced with a stern look from him.

 

“We can’t talk here.” He whispered urgently when he noticed how Kyungsoo’s expressions fell. “There are too many people who can overhear us. Come.”

 

Kyungsoo didn’t know why, but she allowed herself to trust in Junmyeon wholeheartedly, and followed after his lead. Only when they had arrived at one of the more obscure alleys, flanked by rows of houses on either side of them, did Junmyeon turn around to face Kyungsoo again. His expressions were hard and serious – one of the very few times she’d seen him like this – and it definitely did not bode well.

 

Indeed, when Junmyeon opened his mouth next, Kyungsoo could once again feel the cold dread rising in her chest, threatening to suck her right in. “You cannot stay here in Kyoto, Kyungsoo. They are going to attack this city in the next few days. If you remained, you will die.”

 

Kyungsoo swallowed hard against the invisible lump in her throat, willing the panic to go away. “But where else can I go, Junmyeon? Gion is the only place I have ever come to consider my home.” She said, and the light in Junmyeon’s eyes softened ever so slightly.

 

“I am sending you away. Youngwoon had intended to help you, but now that he has been captured by the enemy, there isn’t a way for him to execute his plans.” Junmyeon told her, a flicker of guilt crossing his features before it was gone.

 

“Where to, Junmyeon?” Kyungsoo asked again. “Will you come with me?”

 

At this, Junmyeon looked away from her. “I have made arrangements for you to stay in the outskirts of Korea, where my extended relatives are. It is in the countryside – a place where you will surely love. You will be safe from the war, there.”

 

“Are you coming with me?” Kyungsoo reiterated again when she realised he was planning on avoiding her question. She would not be satisfied unless she heard of his reply, even if it was clear as daylight that he was planning on staying. Kyungsoo knew it was going to hurt her more, but when it came to Junmyeon, she had learned that no matter how much pain she had to go through, she would be willing to bear them on her shoulders.

 

To her surprise, though, Junmyeon’s gaze cut up to look at her, and she inhaled sharply when he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. “I can’t, even if I wanted to. I have to stay and defend my father’s company. It is the only thing I have left, apart from you.”

 

His tender voice made her heart clench in response. “But it is not safe–”

 

“I promise you–” Junmyeon cut her off, squeezing his eyes shut. It was as though he could not bear the thought of her finishing her sentence. “–I promise you, that I will come and find you when the war is over. So please, please stay safe. For me.”

 

Kyungsoo wanted to plead with him, to convince him to change his mind and get out of Gion with her, but she took one look at Junmyeon and knew that it was going to be futile. Once Junmyeon had made up his mind about something, no one was able to sway his decisions, not even Kyungsoo. She knew of that fact very well by now.

 

So Kyungsoo braved her fears and flashed the brightest smile she could manage at Junmyeon, reaching forward to hold his hands in hers. “You have my word, Junmyeon. I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes.”

 

Her breath was once again stolen from her when Junmyeon closed the remainder of the distance between them, sealing her lips with a deep kiss which was desperate yet hopeful at the same time. It was a kiss Kyungsoo would keep close to her heart for the rest of eternity, she was sure, even as the pessimistic thoughts begin to invade her mind.

  
  


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Kyungsoo laid spread eagle on the meadows, all forms of grace from her geisha training gone without a trace as she glanced at the sun through the crevices between her fingers. It had been three years since she’d come to this place under Junmyeon’s arrangement, two since the second World War had ended with Japan’s surrender to the American army, and there was no longer anyone around who could judge her for not keeping to the traditions of a geisha. Her once-smooth hands were now calloused and wrinkled, owing to the long hours of helping out on the rice fields, yet Kyungsoo had somehow come to accept this lifestyle.

 

At the very least, it gave her some semblance of normalcy to her rather unconventional life in Gion. She couldn’t help but sigh in contentment as she thought about how this life suited her more, away from the sake and music and men. It was by a very drastic twist that she had ended up in Gion at all.

 

Sighing in content, Kyungsoo let her eyelids flutter shut as she soaked in the warm late spring sun, enjoying the peace that accompanied it. Without fail, her mind became filled with memories of the people whom she held dear to her heart. She had long since learnt not to cry, though, even if her heart still ached a little at the mere thought of them. She knew some of them were safe and sound in another country, like Baekhyun who had accepted Jongin’s kind graces and was now working for their household in China. Song Qian was living in Thailand with Kyuhyun, from her most recent letter, and Kyungsoo was glad that she was doing well, working as a nurse to help the poorer folks there. Mother was still running the okiya, which had fortunately survived the war, and she was as strong as she’d ever been.

 

When Kyungsoo’s thoughts lingered upon Junmyeon, however, a stray tear still managed to escape the corner of her eye. Two years have come and gone, yet there wasn’t a single piece of news from him, not a word telling her that he’d survived the war, that he was safe, that he was coming to find her. She yearned for him sorely, so much that she was tempted to return to Gion in hopes of searching for him, and had almost acted on her whims several times over the past year or so.

 

Still, Kyungsoo held tight to her faith in him. Junmyeon had never went against his promises to her, and Kyungsoo was convinced he wasn’t about to start anytime soon. It was by such thoughts that Kyungsoo hadn’t left this safe haven Junmyeon had created for her, in fears that he would be left disappointed if she was nowhere to be found when he came.

 

Kyungsoo stirred from her daydream when her employer – a distant aunt of Junmyeon’s, she’d learned – called for her from the direction of the house, a quaint wooden structure which felt a lot cozier than her okiya would ever be, and Kyungsoo pulled herself off the ground, brushing the back of her skirt to get rid of the soil and damp grass. “Coming!” She called back, leaving her memories behind on the vast meadows for another time, and smiled softly to herself as she walked towards the place she had come to call her home for the last three years, wondering what sort of chores was awaiting her.

 

She had forgotten the last time she’d been stunned speechless, but Kyungsoo quickly relived the experience when she pushed past the double doors and found a familiar face looking back at her. He appeared slightly worn from the war which had struck Japan, but was otherwise healthy and well, just the way Kyungsoo had remembered him to be.

 

“Hello–” They chorused together after a pregnant pause, and Junmyeon was the first to laugh at the hilarity of the situation. “You look well, Kyungsoo. My aunt has indeed been caring for you well.”

 

Kyungsoo, on the other hand, was still too stunned to give a proper response, and she could only stare at the love of her life with wide eyes, dumbfounded. Junmyeon did not seem to find that a problem, however. He merely stood up and held her hand in his, before leading her out of the house.

 

She knew she was supposed to do something – something along the lines of throwing an anger fit at him for leaving her worrying about him for so long without a single piece of letter delivered to her, which she believed was completely warranted, granted the endless nights she’d spent wondering about his fate – but Kyungsoo found that she couldn’t do anything but to let him lead her back to the meadows wordlessly.

 

Junmyeon’s warmth, pressed against her skin when he sat down next to her on the grass, felt like second nature to Kyungsoo. It was almost as though the past three years they had spent separated had never happened at all, and Kyungsoo found herself swallowing hard. She wasn’t going to cry. She wasn’t.

 

There was another long moment of silence, before Junmyeon punctuated it with a quiet exhale. From the corner of her eyes, Kyungsoo could see the way he closed his eyes, raising his head towards the sky. He looked like an angel, with the sun rays on his smooth, pale skin, and Kyungsoo had to fist the fabric of her skirt to stop herself from reaching out to touch his face.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said. Kyungsoo wondered how he could always manage to break her heart without really saying much at all.

 

Still, Kyungsoo reminded herself that she was stronger now. Junmyeon had sent her to safety, believing that she would be able to stand on her own feet without him by her side, and she wasn’t about to let her weaknesses show. “What are you apologising for?” She chuckled softly, mirroring his actions to keep the tears at bay. She didn’t know why, but talking to Junmyeon was both suffocating and liberating at the same time.

 

“For not coming sooner. For not writing to you. I know how you must have anguished, worrying about me.” Junmyeon replied, and Kyungsoo was once again reminded of the peculiar way he seemed to be able to read her thoughts.

 

“Why didn’t you, then, if you knew how I would be affected by it?” Kyungsoo asked quietly, determined not to look at him. She was sure she would break if she did.

 

“I’m sorry. Too many things have happened,” he apologised again, and Kyungsoo wished he would stop. Apologies weren’t what she sought for; what she wanted was for her to know that he was safe, and now that Junmyeon was here with her, she rather hoped it wasn’t merely a cruel dream.

 

“And you have bore them on your shoulders all by yourself, have you not?” She turned to look at him for the first time since they had sat down. “Have you forgotten that I am always here to share your burden?”

 

Junmyeon flashed a thin-lipped smile at her. “It is better to have myself face the sadness alone, than to see you being upset with me.”

 

Despite the situation, Kyungsoo found herself chuckling at his words. “Your words are as sweet as they have always been, Junmyeon. I am glad to see that side of you unchanged.”

 

“Those are words from the bottom of my heart, Kyungsoo.” Junmyeon said, and Kyungsoo gasped when he reached over to take a hand in his. She wanted to pull away, yet at the same time, Kyungsoo relished his warmth. She felt as though this was meant to be. “If I could, I would never want to see you sad ever again.”

 

“You and I both know there is only one way to make that happen, but–” Kyungsoo sighed, and looked away from him. The fight which had broken out between Youngwoon and Junmyeon remained fresh on Kyungsoo’s mind, and Kyungsoo didn’t think she was ever going to be able to live down the guilt that gnawed at her. Judging by the wry smile on Junmyeon’s face, he couldn’t, either.

 

“I know this might be selfish of me – of us, even–” Junmyeon started again after a moment’s silence. “–and I know it is unfair of me to ask you of this after my prolonged absence, but…” At this, Junmyeon swallowed nervously, and Kyungsoo glanced down at their interlaced fingers when Junmyeon tightened his grip, firm but not enough to hurt. It was the first time Kyungsoo had seen Junmyeon being so unsure about himself, and it tugged at her heartstrings.

 

“But what, Junmyeon?” Kyungsoo asked him mildly when he trailed off into silence.

 

Junmyeon started a little, but inhaled deeply to calm his nerves and made another attempt to convey his message. Kyungsoo’s pulse sped up at the way he was smiling at her, gentle and tender and everything she had always loved about him. “Will you be willing to share the burden of this guilt with me, to remember that Youngwoon had pulled out to let us be together?”

 

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched in her throat at the implied question, eyes widening in disbelief. Even though she had been waiting for him to tell her these words, she still couldn’t wrap her mind around the matter. She had been convinced up to a certain point, that Junmyeon would leave her once again after letting her know that he had survived the war, because Junmyeon had always been a person who was fiercely loyal to his friends. She’d thought he would not let the fact that Youngwoon had been sacrificed during the war sway his decisions of not getting together with Kyungsoo, but apparently, she thought wrong.

 

And Kyungsoo had never been happier about it. She threw her arms around Junmyeon’s neck in delight, hugging him close to her, and she knew then that she would never want him to step out of her life ever again. “Yes,” she whispered, “yes, I am willing to do so. It doesn’t matter when you ask this of me – whether in the past, the present, or the future – I will still say yes, so please, do not ever leave me again.”

 

She could hear the way Junmyeon released his breath in release, feel the way he smiled into her hair as he returned her embrace, his hold on her more certain now, and Kyungsoo knew for sure – that this was truly the beginning of the happiness she had always been searching for.


End file.
